Diary transcript of Reginald Harriman Heywood, 1918-1919 - Part 7

so I ordered a full dress parade horses and all and took a
dozen photos. Think its the first time the section has
been dussed since it came here.
21.1.19. Wound up the remainder of the 500 odd donks belonging to
the D.A.C. to-day. Have you ever heard the expression "kicks
like an army mule", if you haven't don't worry. To say that
anything - animal - vegetable - or mineral, kicks like an
army mule not only casts a slur on him but conveys no adequate
conception of the calisthenic possibilities of the donk. He's
a star artist and at the leg business he's got Ivy Schilling
Essie Perrin, Genee, and all the other noted females in the

game looking like plaster models in a cemetary.
Unfortuantely the limousine came a thud last night as little

Merz managed to meet a motor lorry end on. Nobody was killed
but the whole turn out is spread over a fairly large area. I
accompanied the rest of the Board into Dinant and after my
previous experiences thought it safer to pay for a room round
with B. mess at the Hotel de Familles. As a matter of fact
it was because about bed time Jack Hunt, Lakman and little
"Goodie" and some other 50th Bn. fellows blew in in a more
or less hilarious mood and proceeded to instigate a little
entertainment on their own. Goodman - drunk or sober - is
one of the cleverest fellows I've met and can do anything
or anybody, especially tommies.
Amongst other items he sat at the piano and gave us his
version of "the Prelude" in a manner that stamps him as a 
real artist.
Cyril McKenna was satying at B. mess for the night,
looking hale and hearty.
22.1.19. We dropped Mac at 11th Bde. H.Q. and then proceeded thro'
Gochenee to the 111th How. Bty. Fixed up their horses in
the morning and had lunch out there, & returning to Gochenee
did the 43rd Bty. thus finishing the 11th Bde. We're beginning
to have no regrets that the back of the job is broken too.
Returned to the Section and was foolish enough to allow
myself to be caught by my host who insisted on my looking
thro' his collection of picture postcards. He's not a bad
old chap at all - only for the tobacco ^he smokes. I think it
must be some new sort of Hun frightfulness and it smells like
something/

something between a nasty disinfectant and a gas attack.

Poor old chap. I expect he acquired the habit living so much

amongst manure heaps.

23.1.19. Had to give the Board a miss to-day and as it was snowing

on and off, chiefly on, spent most of the day in bed. Sent

away 69 horses this morning, mostly woodbines. What with

branding and malleining there seems to be plenty to do always.

24.1.19. We are having a very cold snap and as the local ponds are

frozen skating is all the rage. As for me I have just

naturally shrivelled up and died, remaining mostly in bed.

Jimmie and Smithy are disgusted with me, and marked me C Z, 

but we have nearly cut out the classification job.

Forgot to mention that Cook evidently had another rush of

cold to the feet on being ordered to report to this division

and promptly went sick. My old friend and much admired Ross  -

Grant (5th M.V.S.) has been sent back to Aust. on account 

of ill health.

25.1.19. Got up this morning but as the Board have evidently given

me up as hopeless and didn't call for me I retired again very

quickly. Several orderly room matters demanded my presence

so I made an official appearance after lunch. We miss Geoff 

Madden very much but can still make up a Bridge four with

"Bullocky" Vance and Dvr. Mossenton who rejoices in the name

of Carrum".

26.1.19. This is A.N.A. day in the civilized and a part of the world and

used to be marked by several important events including the

Sorrento Golf Championship and a meeting at Williamstown I 

think. Here we are at present snowed up, tho' I understand

that some steam ploughs or similar contrivances have been 

indented for and will no doubt be able to open up the road

to rail head where it will perhaps be possible to obtain

supplies.

I resumed my place on the Board to-day and in this village

and the gently falling snow we finished up the 14th Coy A.S.C.

I understand that this country possesses some minor advantages 

but even at that I cannot understand a person of even limited

intelligence ever being content to remain in it. This is

not intended to cast any reflection on our gallant allies.I

feel/

feel better now tho' having just had two glasses of rum.

Rum in this country must be regarded as a very peculiar

commodity reflecting more or less accurately the character

of the sergeant of the dump where the issue is made - so much

so in fact that it is always wise to take the first glass

without the addition of any diluent fluid. If then, to your

astonishment, you find the beverage to have been un-adulterated

there is hardly any occasion to dilute the second glass,

besides at present except in the form of icicles water is

unobtainable.

[[?]].1.19. Came in this afternoon to Dinant in the Sunbeam as this

is pay day and boys have closed down their Poker and other

schools on account of lack of funds. Wandered round aimlessly

taking photos and had dinner with B. mess.

In the evening wandered into the one cafe that showed signs

of life and there I met Carstairs - I hadn't been there 10

minutes before he told me he was on the Carstairs of

Carnarvon. I didn't know where Carnarvon was but allowed it

must have its drawbacks and in fact Carstairs looked like one

of Carnarvon's bad breaks. Carstairs could only be described 
as an ultra-tommy but as a class I have a sneaking

regard for him - you know. I can't help envying a man who

thinks he owns the whole world and has a mortgage on the rest

of the universe. He always looks at you in a mildly pitying

way and thinks you're really so insignificant that he really

doesn't mind if you live a bit longer.

[[?]].1.19. Spent the morning on the frozen cobbles in Dinant classifying
 the M.M.P. horses and being snowballed by the little

Dinantians.

After lunch ran out thro' Corenne to Falaen and malleined

the 110th Battery.

Just before dark we had a little undertaking de luxe in

the shape of a mare that had shown a positive re-action to the

mallein test at the Mobile. Accordingly we knocked her over

but the P.M. showed no active lesions of the disease. Evidently 
a case of an old healed focus.

[[?]]9.1.19. Here's something I read in an American Magazine - "If any

of/

                                                                                           

 

of our fellow men are inclined to complain of the number of 

Americans drafted for the war, we would like to call their

attention to little New Zealand which contributed to the allies

101,000 of her 1,000,000 men, and is ready to give more if

need arise".

After that I am convinced that Australia as an advertiser

would cause Footscray to remain undiscovered during a heat wave.

From Australia - with a population of 5,000,000, close

in 500,000 men sent themselves.

Still more or less snowed up with nothing doing.

[[?]]0.1.19. There is still a steady stream of paper from "Demobaust"

in London and other sources - this morning we had from the

head office "General Instructions No.11". I can see all the

personnel returning home and Jinnie and myself left here with

only a huge pile of demob. instructions - the worst of it is

I'll have to remember all the instructions too or she and I

will never get home.

That reminds me she got away to-day and I found her

sitting in the snow near the fire where Darkey boils the water -

poor old thing!

[[?]]1.1.19. Don't know how Mr. Monash arrives at his figures but

this what he says in "What every Australian soldier ought to

know". First he says don't take any notice of anything you

read in the daily newspapers, all a delusion and a snare. Then 

he proceeds to explain that there are still 150,000 men in 

Europe to be repatriated and at 500 per day. work that out for

yourself. The paragraph goes on to say that every 

 Aust. Div. gets a boat in rotation so that each div. sends

away 1,000 men every 10 to 12 days. The strength of this

division is down to 10,000 which works out at from 100 to

120 days, or a net error of 180 to 200 days. I dunno!

Walked to Florennes this morning in preference to going

by the car and in the vain imagining that I might still retain

some little circulation.

Met Sgt. McGarvie (great battler with the Donks Mac)

and together with a hypodermic and many tubes of mallein ran

like a pestilence thro' the 16th and 13th Bns. 4th Bde. H.Q.
and/

and 4th Fld. Amb. before lunch which I had with Tovell 
lately awarded the D.S.O. Couldn't dodge the car in the 
afternoon and Jimmie took me to Philippeville where we did 
the 14th and 15th Bns. On returning to the Mobile it took 
about ½ a pint of rum to revive us (evidently watered).

1.2.19. Poor old Monsieur here is in a great state - 
apparently he's a bit of a veterinaire on the side line and 
to-day he seems to have killed something. He explained 
all the symptoms and asked me what was the matter and it was 
my painful duty to inform him that as far as I could gather 
the animal was dead. He admitted that but would go into 
cause and effect, so we had to go further afield. It appears 
that he has gleaned all his knowledge from an ancient "family 
veterinarian", a copious compendium of all the quack remedies 
ever, and from its lucid instructions had given 2 oz of a 
drug of which the dose would be nearer 2 drams. I informed 
Monsieur that the animal might be said to have died of a 
misprint but am afraid he's far from convinced and has a mild 
contempt for the strange ideas of foreign veterinaries.

In about 2 feet of snow, walked over to Florennes to 
observe the effect of yesterday's inoculations and walked 
back this evening.

On the way over decided to send in an application for 
early repatriation at the end of March, on the way back 
decided to make it the end of February.

2.2.19. Did another return trip to Florennes, but this time 
screwed some gadgets into his shoes and rode Brownie, Mac 
and I malleined the rest of the 4th Bde. so my career as a 
V.O. should be nearly over when I observe tomorrow the result 
of to-day's inoculations. Mac is a firm believer in not 
using the twitch and when he gets a grip on the ear old Nick 
himself wouldn't prize him off, but he gives me many anxious 
moments, swinging about in mid-air amongst flying hoofs.

How's this - over there they call the reinforcements 
(late '18) the "Rainbows"; they came out after the storm.

3.2.19. Finished up as I thought the 4th Bde. to-day, which 
brings to an end the examination and classification job. 

Now/

Now all we are waiting on is the order to send away any 
number of such and such a class.

Apparently everything is now held up during the pleasure 
of the "Chums" who are striking in all directions. What a 
pity they didn't strike a bit harder while the war was on - 
some of them weren't too anxious to box on during March and 
even later. I wish old Monash or someone would declare war 
on them, even I wouldn't mind a mild stoush with the Woodbines.

Got back to Corenne to find instructions from Corps which 
mean once again we'll have to go back over our tracks re the 
classification.

[[?]].2.19. Its a toss up which is the worst run show in the Army the
Veterinary Corps or the Remount Department - and when as in this 
case the two of them combine for a stunt - I ask you!

I think perhaps the A.V.C. has the call because their 
work in the field has been excellent. In spite of the bombs 
long range guns and other causes, wastage has been reduced to 
a tithe of what it has been in other wars and contagious 
diseases have been almost stamped out - this in spite of the 
monumental stupidity of the heads of our dopey department. I 
must add the the veterinary personnel in the field have had 
anything but a fair spin. As for the remounts, well the 
less said about them the better. I must say that as far as 
D.H.Q. and those people who have some slight idea of the 
conditions in the field are concerned we have always had every 
assistance and sympathy, but for the A.D.V.Ss and D.D.V.Ss - 
men of our own profession I never want to be associated with 
them again.

What I started out to say was that having handled all the 
animals I forget how many times, we've now got to go thro' 
them again, and mark ophthalmia cases, and blind animals with 
a "V". In this respect blind horses include those blind in 
one eye or both eyes. Did you ever hear such rot! - on their 
ruling a horse with some obscure eye trouble that can hardly 
see passes alright, while another - like old "Jess" for 
instance the best mare probably in the A.I.F. - having a 
cataract on one eye is blind.

Wingaria won the National with one eye and I'm damn sure 
he wasn't blind.

[[?]].2.19. Hope I have finished this time now that I have made one 
more/

more trip over to Florennes and furnished a return of all 
blind or partially blind animals in the 4th Bde: I wouldn't 
like to bet tho' - to-day as the V.E.S. are so congested we 
had to send all the way there to relieve them of four of the 
animals we evacuated on 23.1.19. One of the four is a D. 
animal that came from Dinant so that will be over 100 kilos 
he's travelled for nothing. He's killed one man but won't 
kill many more, as he's going to die of a fractured skull 
when McSwain gets him home - would sell out of this job very 
cheap. There isn't much room to put any more brands on 
anyway.

6.2.19. Committees, Commissions - and Camouflage - which three 
words sum up the achievements to date of that quintessence of 
inspired wisdom, the Canting Humbug's debating Society - the 
Peace Conference and the Armistice was signed on Nov.11! 
As I said before, up to the present the Conference has decided 
precisely nothing. All that has happened so far is that a 
series of Committees and Commissions have been made to find 
out (i) Who was responsible for the crimes committed during 
the war, and in other words how Bill and his mimnions? should 

be tried, (ii) How much Germany can pay, (iii) Another one to 
inquire into the international aspects of Labour problems and 
(iv) a fourth to enquire into the "international regime" of 
ports, waterways and railways - whatever that may mean.

By the time the answers to these have been found, you 
and I and the said Bill will probably be in our graves, and 
a stately monument will have been erected to Mr. Wilson - 
the man that won the war.

The one achievement of the Society is the handing back 
of their Colonies to Germany - or at the best, the handing 
over of their Colonies to a chimerical League. A body which 
does not exist, and of whose composition we know nothing. 
Brilliant isn't it? Isn't it about time the nations who 

waded thro' 4½ years of war put their own houses in order 
before worrying themselves over the affairs of Siam, Haiti, 
Greenland,the North Pole and Timbuctoo. The worst of it 
is, it seems everyone has to bow to the Head Humbug, the man 
who made most ^noise, did least and came last.

I know handing over New Guinea makes Australians feel 
that they've been sold a pup.

I don't mind whom the next war is between, I won't be 
in it

7.2.19. "Nothing to report to-day" - I wonder how many people 
at/

at home that read that so often every faintly realized what 
that nothing meant.

A cold day like to-day has been makes one remember that 
it wasn't only the shells and the machine guns and the gas that 
made the war so horrible - there was the awful discomfort that 
like the poor was always with them - the cold, the rain, the 
mud and the chats, and even when there was "nothing to report" 
there was always the prospect of sudden extinction, not a decent 
death either, but mutilation or disintegration - too horrible 
to realize.

[[?]].2.19. Beautifully bright to-day but the sun conveyed about as 
much warmth as an average sized glow worm would form a distance 
of a quarter of a mile - didn't even melt the snow, and gee!
it's cold.

Since coming to this village, I've had time to become 
an expert on everything from Christian Science to Quaker Oats 
so when Leslie yesterday quoted for my benefit a Christian 
Scientist cousin of hers I was not in the least taken unawares 
by these exasperated assurances. "Do what you think is right, 
and then you don't need to worry". If I did what I thought 
was right I wouldn't need to worry, I'd probably be in jail. 
That's the worst of these people of learning and education - 
they never have any knowledge or information. What she meant 
to say I suppose was this - "Do what other people think is 
right, and then no one needs to worry". It will probably 
hurt you like hell, but as you're a Scientist, Christian at 
that, nobody notices".

If you are a dinkum Christian Scientist you're rather 
proud of your hurts and so long as nobody ever knows, why 
shouldn't you be?"

Faith, Hope and Charity - these three and the greatest 
is Charity, but any two sides of this triangle are together 
greater than the third.

[[?]].2.19. One of my chief quarrels with this war business has 
always been its "feast or famine" nature. All the time it 
has been dust or mud - there's never anything on the average 
principle - for three weeks lately I couldn't have been more 
occupied if I'd been St. Vitus himself but after the storm 
there's the infernal calm, and during the last three days I've 
had nothing more tiring to do than sign my name on three 
indents/.

indents. Quiet! I can hear the Meuse running thro' Dinant 
15 miles away, but the noise no longer worries me.

Otherwise, I must be regarded as rather fortunate 
having discovered that my billet boasts of a bath - evidently 
a very swell place. Certainly it is situated next the pig-sty, 
and a big white chap favours me thro' a hole in the wall 
with a mildly inquiring gaze when I go in: but you can't 
expect flowers on your grave can you?

Still no Australian mail - largely I expect on account 
of the Bolsheviks, Sinn Feiners, Strikers and Aliens in 
England. I wish they'd lend me the Australian Corps and ask 
me to look after the strikers until after Peace - after that 
I wouldn't be interested. Social conditions are so rotten 
in England they want some sort of an upheaval. An enterprising 
member of the so-called aristocracy who tacks up a 
"no thoroughfare" notice on a river deserves all that's 
coming to him. Amen.

10.2.19. Still prostrated with ennui, with nothing better to do 
than rave inwardly at the lovely tho' pathetic idiocy of the 
woodbines. I don't mind what they do with England afterwards 
but I did want them to fix the lid on Fritz's coffin properly.

A place with Pemberton Billing, Leveston_Harris, De 
Veulle, Ramsay McDonald and the rest of them does want something 
to happen to it, but one thing at a time is easily 
enough for most woodbines.

Two transports instead of thirteen have left for Australia 
lately and things seemed to be at a standstill tho' I 
did notice the 37th Bty. taking away some of their guns and 
equipment to-day.

11.2.19. Another sunny day, so we must be regarded almost as 
having a heat wave. Of course the sun hasn't succeeded in 
melting the frost on my windows yet, but it looks very nice.

Got rid of another lot of horses to-day, a batch of 

300 "Y" class - so that makes 600 gone, 300 "Z"s (for sale 
locally) and 300 Ys (to be sent to Blighty). I ought to 
mention that the other class X. are to stay in the post 
bellum army. Don't know whether the post bellum army 
whatever it is is going to stay here to watch Fritz or if 
its/

its going to England to put the acid on the Bolsheviks.

Honest, I can't understand the Woodbines, they elect a 
government by an unheard of majority and before it has time 
to meet even, they strike in all directions for things they 
can't get and don't want.

12.2.19. The heat wave still continues, so I plucked up courage to 
go into Dinant for the cash - sorely needed by the sporting 
members of the section. It was almost warm in the sun so the 
ride in the Sunbeam was very enjoyable - everything looked 
like a fairy tale round Dinant with the sunshine on the snow. 
My enjoyment was tempered by the fact that tho' that I found out 
that I am to lose Sgt. Brown who is due for early repatriation. 
Brownie has been one of the best always, and I hope he gets 
the M.S.M. for which I recommend him. As orderly room 
Sergeant he was always on the spot and at times under very 
trying circumstances. Le gros Sergeant, as the villagers 
know him in contradistinction to little Doc - le petit 
Sergeant, will be sorely missed.

13.2.19. Resumed the St Vitus antics with a flying visit to the 

4th Bde. to-day - it having now become necessary to mullein 
all the X class animals.

What a pity the heads couldn't have had all these brain 
waves at the one time and saved us going over the units now 
countless times.

Old Bishop caused extra thrills by sending in an animal 
which he suspected of being affected with the dread "Epizoo". 
Fortunately Jimmie arrived and we squashed Bish's suspicion 
and sent the horse on as an ulcerative celluitis case.

14.2.19. Another St. Vitus Spasm took me for a tour on Brownie 
round the whole of the 4th Bde. thro' Florennes, Phillipeville, 
Chaumont etc. about 20 miles in all, and quite far 
enough on frozen roads. The worst of it is I've got to 
repeat the issue tomorrow to see the result of to-day's 
inoculations - but by that time I don't think there'll be 
anything left that we could do to the animals except get 
rid of them - in which connection we are sending away another 
batch of 200 "Ys" on Sunday morning, holding a sale of "Zs" 
at Florennes on the 20th and another at Dinant on the 24th.

The heat wave is passed and to-day was dull and drizzly 
but a thaw has set in in earnest and by tomorrow the "freeze" 
should/