Diary transcript of Reginald Harriman Heywood, 1917 -1918 - Part 3

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what is left of it. He took with him my best wishes and
whip - he had lost his own and explained that he didn't want
to arrive "Regimentally naked". In return he's handed me
over his girl, who by the way wasn't looking too fresh the
last time I saw her - having spent the best part of 3 days
and 3 nights carting in the remains of air raided Chinks and
others. One proud old Quang offered her a finger which he
picked up - for a souveneir. I have promised Ed. to take her
out for a ride whenever I get a chance - which is about all
the recreation they get. I hardly look forward to the idea
tho', as I fear I shall fall far short of Ed's high standard as
an entertainer.
Its now settled down to a steady rain so I suppose we
won't be favored by the Huns again tonight - we won't miss
them either.
7.9.17. The estimable Finney lent me one of his crocks and
together we made the Fannies Hqrs. about tea time. Amongst
others we met a Miss Calder who has appeared in Shakesperian
plays in the U.K. and U.S.A. She intends producing "Romance"
and "Maid of the Mountains" in Aus: after the war. She's one
of those 6 foot gushers with a comely and mundane countenance    
that look capable of carrying our anything - even her threat
regarding Australia.
There was another we met - not bent on waking up the
whole world like Miss Calder but content to let it sleep, and
in fact in a sort of a quasi-trance herself the whole time.
She came out of her trance long enough to tell me how sorry
she was that she couldn't accept my invitation to dine at the
A.V.H. on Sunday last. I'd never set eyes on her before either,
but allowed I was all cut up too and hinted that it was all
she could expect if she would drive these cheap cars. That 
made her mad and she chewed my ear properly - me for the tall
timber!
We learned some particulars about the raids tho' and
inter alia that the Huns dropped a bomb on some of their own
prisoners killing 39 of them. Then they swooped down and
turned their machine guns on a Chinese labor battalion. This
so peeved the quangs that they took to the remnant of the
P.O.W. and then the English guard had to turn out and altogether
there was a proper unpleasantness.
In the evening Gen. Moore D.V.S. dined with us and there
was a frost gathered on the scene alright. We were introduced
to him and he wished us every success and other inanities.
Wonder how old Ed. is - and if he has had a chance to
go/

21
go over the bags and be in that bit of a rough raid he's so
keen on.
8.9.17. A very quiet day and very nice too, so we wandered
over to Sandgatte and indulged in a swim. While we were in, a
beautiful fog settled on the channel and we had quite a job
finding our way home over the hills.
On the way over we saw a lot of French colored troops -
and fine fellows they are but about as serious as seltzogene
charges.
9.9.17. Sunday - the fourth spent in La Belle France with the
Padre and his faithful cornet player officiating again.
In the afternoon rode into Calais with O'B and Finney,
and while they devoted their energies to the entertainment of
the Fannies. I hasetened to fulfil my date with "Amaryllis" who
was on the spot with her two small sisters.
My French being considerably improved had quite an
interesting afternoon. She somewhat spoilt it tho' by telling

me that her parents are "trés severes". She's a dainty
little thing.
10.9.17. The parting of the ways. Robbie booked for a Tommy
hospital at St. Omer and Tuck and the others for different
hospitals at Neuchatel. Oh memory, fond memory! Said our
adieux and Snowy and self reported to the O.C. No.4 A.V.H. He
was as nearly affable as a Tommy ever allows himself to be.
I was immediately attached to a sub: under a giddy old major.
He's one of those elongated old geesers, Something about
the build of a grasshopper and about as cheerful as a broken
column. He never said anything all day and I, of course,
didn't answer him back. I spent the morning coursing him up
and down to find out what wanted doing but gave it up then -
from now on he can do the coursing and he'll need to be a
marvel out of the barrier or I'll be very hard to catch.
Snowy has drawn a somewhat similar prize - so we have
formed ourselves into a union - to pick up what we can and
keep out of sight as much as possible. That's not as easy as
it sounds - to have a quiet smoke-oh we have to repair to the
bath-room - and their ideas are crude, their science antideluvian
and their methods and technique are all in. Of
course they know how to pass them on or out tho', and when its
all said and done that's their job.
In general the staff are a lot of warmed up corpses and
the only one with any symptoms of coming to is one "Blind
Harry" 

22
Harry" for want of a better name. Asepsis, I don't think
they can spell. The giddy old geeser gave me a horse, gee!
I can't make up my mind whether he's descended from a camel
or an emu. I haven't been on him yet and don't intend to -
he's about as handsome as a Horlicks milk ad. painted with
a whitewash brush on a corrugated hoarding.
We are dining and sleeping at the A.A.V.H. and what a
relief it is to get 'home".

Can't write any more as the guard has reported "enemy
aircraft" - so we have to put our lights out.
11.9.17. Arose at 5.30 a.m. and reported over at Zig.Zag at 6.30.
putting an unhappy hour and a half till breakfast. Apres
dejeunes - assisted old "skeeter" doing rag-time operations
for a while and then made myself scarce.
In the afternoon went down in great style to the beach
and bathed ourselves and 3 or 4 hundred horses. The O.C. also
journeyed down and the commissariat provided an excellent
afternoon tea.
Needless to say I wasn't mounted out on the reach-me-down-a-star
outfit.
Another enemy aircraft warning so must douse the glim.
12.9.17. Arose again at 5.30 - a beautiful cold wind and a dull
sky - Goodbye Summer. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Arrived at Hdrs. pretty punk and did point duty till
8 and breakfast.
Carried on a species of point duty through-out the day.
Gee these Tommies! the main thing in their opinion is
saluting - if they have an opinion, that is. They dig up a
salute for every conceivable mishap, and on the slightest
provocation.
They seem to be affected by an acute hyper-asethesia
of the elbow accompanied by an anaesthesia of the brain
rendering them highly irritating and more or less useless.

Its hopelessly fatal to knock one down or ride one's horse
over them, for they resume the perpendicular and get busy
with the pump handle tactics in a manner that would be the
everlasting envy of the Flemington tick-tackers.
Enjoyed/

23
Enjoyed the efforts of a Lena Ashwell concert party in
the evening over at the remounts and afterwards entertained the
performers at dinner at our mess, 8 courses, and some dinner.
I bet they couldn't have sung much afterwards.

.9.17. Another day at the necropolis - and just about as cheerful
and exciting as usual.
I don't like the way the giddy old mauntis gallops - gets
his head too far into the air to have much chance. When he gets
like that he generally refers to me as Mr. Heywood, not that I
care a dam but it must sound like hell to strangers. At present
I'm so thankful to hear him speak at all that I can't bear to but
in but one of these days I'm going to call him Mr. and see can't
I stir up some kind of life.
The poor old toothpick has gone out for the afternoon,
so I have seized the opportunity to pick out another hack. I have
hit on a little chestnut that doesn't look bad but haven't been
on him yet. Have just had him clipped and shod and the remodelling
process has made a wonderful improvement already.
.9.17. Grey days! Pottered about all day doing nothing which
is very tiring as it lasts from 6.30 a.m. till 5 p.m. or to be
more correct from 6.45 till further notice according to an
announcement made with great gusto by one Saggs who is the Q.M.
and adjutant.
The little chestnut is rough, but honest and rather a
loveable little thing.
Spent the afternoon discussing the future of the turf -
with a fellow named Crawford who used to ride over the sticks in
N.Z. who knows F.W.McCabe, J.N.McGregor, R.Cameron and others of
note in the racing world.
.9.17. The weather is lovely again but the aspect is trimmed
with grey nevertheless. Dr. Lewis could do more and better surgery
with an oyster knife on the end of a soft pole than old Buzz-fuzz -
he's so dam friendly with himself about it too.
A chappie with a triplane landed at the back gate this
morn: and alighting explained that he had just taken a bit of a
run down from the front. He smoked a fag and yarned for a while
and/

24
and then flew off back for lunch - after treating us to a few
hair raising turns in mid hair.!
The first batch of patients have has arrived at the
A.A.V.H. 280 odd. Tolly will have something to worry over now.
.17. Sunday but had to give the Padre a miss and put in
the morn. with the giddy quacks, but got away at 12.30 Dined
at home with live people.
In the afternoon rode in with Finney and on an old
black very like "Pilot" used to be - just about as many
blemishes. Finney went to the Fannies but I called on "Amaryllis"
whose name is Lucienne and who looked charming in blue crepe-de-chene
and grey shoes and stockings. She had an elderley aunt
with her - a lady rejoicing in the name of Mme.Gilloots but
very affable and very hunourous. She could speak a little
broken English and between us we had a most entertaining
afternoon.
Returned on "Pilot" for tea - very tired but determined

to wade into the French grammar.
9.17. Another day over at Quackville. Fortunately another
officers' school has been formed and there is a semblance of life
about the place.
Officers from various units - particularly A.S.C. and
F.A. come down here for 10 days - nominally instruction in
animal management &c. but practically a holiday. The schools
include a fair number of Colonials and we do get a little local
color other than ultramarine.
John and I stole a march this morn: arriving at 7.45
and an hour late with the rather punk excuse that we had put
our clocks back an hour - as had been done in England.
We departed very punctually too - we always arrive
at a walk and depart at a gallop but sarcasm is lost.
9.17. Beast of a day - a cold wind and fine driving rain.
Fortunately old Mother Hubbard has gone out - Jack doesn't wish
him any harm but hopes he never returns.
Consequently I have written quite a number of letters
and have made some progress with the French.
There are numerous German prisoners here and we have
interviewed one who speaks excellent English - you get the dinkum
oil from him alright. You can forget most you read in the
English/

25
English newspapers but still he says the war will end next
spring and that the German people are pretty fed up. If he
thinks the Germans will win then - but he doesn't say so -
you can forget what he says too.
They've got it in for the Yanks too - they're going

to give them particular hell but we can't concern ourselves with
that can we?
.17. John and I have hit on quite a scheme for putting in
the ante-breakfast hour and a half. We ride in at 6.30 in a
loud and ostentatious manner past the O.c's office and straight
on and out tho' unobtrusively thro' the back gate. Then we go

for a bit of a chase over the hills and along the cliffs. Its
some cold too but lends a business like appearance to breakfast.
They can't make much profit over our mess accounts. During the
morn: a youth came to me from the orderley office 'phone with
the news that Miss Pearson would ride that afternoon. As I
never heard of a Miss Pearson, I tried a long shot on Ted's girl.
Accordingly I explained the situation to our own O.C. who
reckoned it sounded highly promising and fitted me out with the
afternoon tea and a couple of presentable screws.
In due time I arrived at the Anglo-French Fanny convoy -
and was accosted by a lady who asked me if I was waiting for

Miss Painter. I allowed I was but was rather nervous because
Ted had forgotten to supply me with the necessary details.
However I collected the bet - some bet! More or less presentable,
decidedly capable in the saddle and emphatically nice in
spite of having been on the boards. We had quite a ride - tho'
I wouldn't like to keep her in horses, but it was hardly worth
the wetting I got on the way home. The rain was more than a
joke and as the reins were very slippery the nags cleared out
with me. I kept them straight with the whip tho' and didn't
half come thro' Coquelles you bet! Got home double quick too,
and after changing a couple of wads felt no ill effects.
Entertained another concert party in the evening,
dinner at 8.30.
9.17. Arose in the dim and forbidding early a.m. to the tune
of raindrops on the roof and like the storied school-boy crept

unwillingly to the scene of our daily toil.
The scheme as formulated worked admirably as did the
breakfast, and the cases on hand happened to be rather interesting
lot. Also a giddy old general who was down on the card
to inspect the place ran the pencil thro' his entry and the
morning passed quite easily.
In the afternoon had to fall back on over-due correspondence,

26
and the French grammar.
9.17. A lovely bright morning and Jack and I had no
difficulty in working up a vivid interest in breakfast time.
The General and retinue arrived before lunch and it
fell to the old man to show them round. During the performance
he explained to the Gen. what a full hand operator he is
and to impress him sent down to us for "that big American
horse". We couldn't see any horse with the stars and stripes
on him so sent the biggest in the stable which unfortunately
was roaring badly by the time it got down to the party and a
very bad ad: for the Willaims-Hobday operation. He came back
pretty quick with a request for "that chestnut horse" so we
sent the biggest chestnut - which could hardly breathe at all.
He came back too, followed by the Major but I didn't wait.
Went for a bit of a rough steeplechase with Finney in the
evening. Finney has most weird ideas about make shape build
and soundness and has picked himself out a chestnut with not
a leg to stand on.
.9.17. On the way over to "4" old Pilot who is the clumsiest
beast imaginable emptied himself and poor old John over the
road, but jumped some hedges in fine style later. To show his
appreciation Jack put him down later in the day and carved
some of his hock off.
Have palled up with the contractor who has a bit of a
kipsey here and who is a bit of a rough artist. He has given
me a standing invite to go in at any old time for a smoke and
to help myself to his water-colors, which isn't too bad.
In the evening the groom turned up with a new mount
and when I got on him he gave me the proper sort of a rough
passage. I managed to stay with him tho' amidst vociferous
cheers from excited Tommies. You ought to see some of the
Tommies ride - they'd be no more at home in a cart with a
net over them.
.9.17. Sunday. Slept in till 7.30 - what ho! breakfasted at a
live mess, mounted the broncho and paraded at "4" at 9 o'clock.
Held a general parade of all the animals in G.Sub:
for the O.C's benefit. This place is more like a sale yard
than a hospital and no wonder old Melancholia is a bit poor
in the coat. The O.C. hospital tho' much his junior treats
him like a novice and makes him parade everything - the poor
old geezer has got no kick to register at all. Still that
isn't 

27
isn't a fair reason for handing me the lemon. Home for
lunch at the double but had to give Amaryllis a miss in
the afternoon. O'B and I journeyed into Calais later and
saw a little of the lighter side.
The day marked the arrival of W.S.Cook and another
V.O. named Robson - an M.R.C.V.S.
.9.17. I've finished with the old geezer for good - he
asked me this morning if I'd ever seen a section of the
laryux. I wonder what sort of a place he thinks Australia is.
Kept out of his sight most of the day and availed
myself largely of the worthy contractors hut and perquisites -
perpetrating several misdeeds in my sketch book.
O'B issued Jack and Self an officers pattern saddle
and bridle each, which tho' not too good are much better than
the W.Ps. we have been using.
Enemy aircraft caused a frost to gather on the scene
in the eve' and we went to bed with the wind well up.
.9.17 A most gorgeous morn' and a ride down to the sea was
most enjoyable. The chestnut bronc is now quite a gentleman
and a decidedly decent horse all round.
Later on we were treated to an air raid by daylight.
The two huns must have been 16,000 feet up and looked like
tiny white birds. They must have been highly amused at the
efforts of the excited Frenchies, whose shrapnel was bursting
a mile away it seemed to me. Very pretty tho' - also rather
strenuous. The Bosches came over again in the evening and
made the night hideous. They didn't seem to drop many bombs
but it will take me a long time to forget the droning hum
their machines make.
6.9.17. Tonight's the night - according to schedule we are to
be blotted off the landscape - Calais and all this evening
and the women and children have been warned to leave.
They haven't got a very nice day for it tho' as it
is now cold cloudy and blowy.
I hear that most of the Bosche bombs fell into the
lagoon last night - a good place for them. I never had a
rooted dislike for the moon before but I sure have now. I
wish some of those blighted poets that write about it would
come here for a while about full moon.
Old/

28
old P.M.E. has transferred all the running noses &c.
and turned this into a surgical ward. Now the blood will
flow - no need to go to the front for local color.
Got home and had a chilly feeling under my belt at
the sight of Col. Kendall. he greeted us with the news that
I am to go up to the line and join the 4th Division, Jack
and Cook to go to the 5th and Robson to the 1st Anzac Corps.
War declared at last.
Too dark for the Bosches - Home and Dried.
.9.17. Went over to No.4 and resigned - the pleasantest
moments spent over there.
Journeyed into Calais and visited ordnance stores
securing gum boots, British warm &c. and other perquisites
for the battle.
Encore Calais in the afternoon most exciting. Was
trying on a pr of boots in a shop when the girl who was
ministering to my needs rushed off to the 'phone and emitted
an exciting jargon of Taubes and Zeppelins - then retiring
to the cellar. The street emptied toute suite and as I
reckoned I was about as easy to hit as the girl I accompanied
her to the under world. Then I spent 1 hr 20 mins. in another
shop trying to make them understand that I wanted a coat with
a cavalry gusset in the tail. They said No! but would alter
it for me and when completed proudly displayed it with some
glove fasteners on the tail - I ask you?
In the evening a monster air raid of which the star
attraction was an allemand falling a mile or so in flames and
amidst excited cheers from Jack and self.
Further modifications to Calais tho'.
.9.17. Poor Calais! Called for my coat and the old cock who
had the wind up properly humped his shoulders and drew my
attention to the place where the top story used to be but
which was now missing plus the coat. I couldn't get any sense
out of him at all.
The boot shop with the cellar was also in the line of
the flying ironmongery and as they had dropped 4 or 5 bombs
in the square things were looking rather mixed.
They were also doing a bit of rough mining to get 16
bodies/

29
bodies out of a cellar so I left.
The evening was also more or less of a disturbed
one tho' apparently no bombs were dropped.
.17. Launched a fresh offensive in Calais and managed to
extract a coat from the poor old josser who had something come
to earth again. Took me all morning tho'. Malleined 170 nags
for Finney in ragtime in the afternoon and then fortified
myself with a little bit of a rough siesta for the night which
promised to be particularly fine and bright.
The night was partic: hideous. Could hear the bosche
being bombarded at Dover and driven over here dropping many
bombs. Then they returned to Dover again and were hunted over
here again - more bombs, blast them.

9.17. Continued glorious weather but the nights are beginning
to get very cold.
The Padre conducted his usual service but has dispensed
with his faithful cornet whose place has been filled by 2 A.V.C.
men a violin and a mandolin. As they were in different keys
the result was by no means pleasing.
Was most disappointed at not seeing Amaryllis in the
afternoon. I am beginning to think the poor little thing must
have added another item to the Huns long account, as I cannot
get any trace of her and her home was right in the midst of a
part of Calais that is mostly broken glass and old material now.
.17. Still no orders for us to hit the trail and continued
glorious weather - but there is a smell of frost about the nights.
Clarke and Phillips returned from Neuchatel both being
booked for the line. Poor Tuck remains at No.12 and sent me
an S.O.S. to remind the Col. that he also wishes to get a closer
view of hostilities.
Robbie is also all dressed up and no-where to go.
Played poker in the evening in the midst of a most
noisy and unpleasant show. The shell cases were whining down
very frequently and far too adjacent.
.17. Still another perfect day but have a feeling it is
going to be the last of the series.
Poor old Finney - he seems about as fortunate in his
judgment/