Diary of Alice Ross-King, 1916 - 9

211
July 29 SATURDAY [211-155] 7th Month 1916

Well, my world has
ended. Harry is dead.
God, what shall I do!
Killed on the 19th. I heard
the news last Tuesday.
Major Prior sent it up.
I have been bowled
completely over. Nothing
on earth matters to me
now. The future is
an absolute blank.
I have kept on duty
but God only knows
how I have done so.
Every one has been
most nice to me.
Oh my dear, dear
love what am I to do?
I can't believe he is
dead. My beautiful boy.
I'm hoping each day
that the news will be
contradicated.

212
1916 31 Days 30 Sunday-6 aft Trin [212-154] July
2h 15m A.M. (Greenwich)

217
August 4 FRIDAY [217 - 149] 8th Month 1916
War declared between Great Britain and Germany, 1914

I expect I must pick up life
again & go on. I do not know
how to face the lifeless future
though. I feel Harry's
presence constantly with
me & my love is growing
stronger & deeper even
since his death. I cannot
really believe the news yet
& each day I long for a
letter telling me he is
only wounded. How am
I to bear life? A
very harsh letter from Iva
came along yesterday.
She & Ada are evidently
feeling that I get more of
the pleasures of life than
they do
I wrote to Harry's mother
& tried to soften things for
her. I have had no news
from the Battn. An imperial
man has been put in
charge. Which means
that most of the officers
must be mafish. Col [[Moni?]]
was O.C. but is killed.
Sister Green & Andy are
back. Also Sister Ross. I
still have my big ward.
Millicent is very good to me. 

218
1916 31 Days 5 SATURDAY [218-148] August

My hut is very busy. We
are very short of medical officers.
Col McLean has taught me
to give Anaesthetics which
saves one M.O. in our hut.
Most of the big dressings in
my ward have to be done over
Chlo. I am giving Chlo most
of the mornings. It cuts a
big hole into the morning &
Ray Lavien is looking very
tired. He has to hold these
heavy legs whilst the surgeon
dresses. The sweat pours down
his face. So often the patients
call them loafers & say they
have Cushie jobs. Both boys
parade asking to be sent up
the line but they cant be
spared from here.

225
August 12 SATURDAY [225-141] 8th Month 1916
Grouse Shooting begins

Im having an awful
struggle to keep up. In
the wards & doing the
duty here. I show a fresh
face but Oh God my
heart is breaking,
& tears are in me that
I never thought I
should shed. Im
what [[Wate?]] would call
"sloppy"
Millicent is very good
to me. All the girls are.
Yesterday I had a go
though my Luxo feeling
I have had a horrible
scolding preaching
letter from [[Rod?]]. & one
almost as bad from
[[Wall?]].

226
1916 31 Days 12 Sunday--8 aft Trin [226-140] August
0h 0m P.M. (Greenwich)

Ray and Ian have managed
to get away to a Field Amb. We
are going to miss them badly. There
is some talk of sending the shell
shocked chaps to be trained as
orderlies.
We have a wonderful
Crowd of workers here. Col [[Furet?]]
is specializing in joints. Knees.
There is an order out that wounds
are not to be dressed but are
to heal under their own pus.
The patients are very discontented
about it and the wards stink to
high heaven.

227
August 14 MONDAY [227-139] 8th Month 1916

We had a big haem in the
ward today. An Amp Case
whose leg was being treated
to Pus pouches. He blames
the lack of [[training?]] dressing.
The surgeons are discontented
about the treatment but the
D.G. says it must be given 3 months
trial.
The weather is lovely and
the pine forest is very restful.
Brother John Prior is very good
to me on my day off. He takes
me to the lovely woods and I am
able to read or write or sleep.
He brings afternoon tea. It is a
good thing for him too. He Talks
a lot about his wife & Children
& his home.

228
1916 31 Days 15 TUESDAY [228-138] August

233
August 20 Sunday -9 aft Trin [233-133] 8th Month 1916
0h 53m P.M. (Greenwich)

I can keep only an occasional line
in this book. The days drag
by in awful weariness. My
pain daily grows [[worse? warts? wants?]]
[[alter?]] [[how? now?]] I can be calm of
eye. My nights are full
of aching longing. The
worst of it is people speak
of my trouble in the past
tense. I go out a good
deal when off duty, for
I hate my room & yet I
hate talking to people too,
I wrote to Dorothy [[Moffit?]]
this mail.
The Colonel has been away
for [[2 wks?]]. Thanks Goodness
he has returned. B. L[[2?]] did
the work, he was always
very decent to me
I had a cable from Ada
& Isabel. Evidently they
have heard the news in Aust.
Tessa Thomas has broken
off her engagement.
One third of the Aust Army is
out of action. Im afraid
the war will last many a
long year yet.

234
1916 31 Days 21 MONDAY [234-132] August
Black Game Shooting begins

235
August 22 TUESDAY [235-131] 8th Month 1916 

236
1916 31 Days 23 WEDNESDAY [236-130] August

Heard today that there is no hope
of getting Harry's grave fixed
up. They say it was not
possible to bring in the 
wounded at all & that
they are still lying there
unburied. For days one
could see occasional
signs of life an arm
would wave or there
wd be slight movement
but it was quite
impossible to collect
the wounded beyond
a certain distance
Thank God I am
almost certain that
death was instantaneous

243
August 30 WEDNESDAY [243-123] 8th Month 1916

All day I have worked hard & 
joyfully. I have cracked
jokes & laughed & tonight
my great prayer O God is
that thou wilt let me
join Harry soon. I look
ahead to a bleak life
without the boy I love..
Yesterday we got in a convoy
of 21st Battn men. They
tell me Walter Clarebrough
has been killed. He was
Harry's great friend.
Some of these men tell me
that when the Aust^ns went
to Pozieres the Germans sent
word that they wd have
Verdun before we got Pozieres
& the Tommies were betting 90 to
1 on it. Our first Air took
it with in 24 hrs & the
2nd div held it.

244
1916 31 Days 31 THURSDAY [244-122] August

249
September 5 TUESDAY [249-117] 9th Month 1916
4h 27m A.M. (Greenwich) 

250
1916 30 Days 6 WEDNESDAY [250-116] September

I shall not cry Return! Return
nor weep my tears away.
But just as long as sunsets burn
and dawns make no delay
I shall be lonesome. I shall miss
Your hand, Your voice, Your smile
Your kiss.
Not often shall I speak your name,
for what would strangers care,
that once a sudden tempest -'Came
and swept my garden bare,
and then You passed & in Yr place
Stood Silence with her lifted face.

Not always shall this parting be,
for though I travel slow
I too may claim eternity
And find the way you go;
And so I do my task & wait
the opening of the outer Gate.

263
September 19 TUESDAY [263-103] 9th Month 1916
5h 35m A.M. (Greenwich)

264
1916 30 Days 20 WEDNESDAY [264-102] September
Ember Day

I should be keeping my diary
regularly but my heart is
too dead for anything.
The days

267
September 23 SATURDAY [267-99] 9th Month 1916
Ember Day

Marjory Yule has just let it be
known that she is engaged to Hume
Turnbull. Marjory was one of a
number of us who used to rush
into the Normandy Hotel for hot
baths. The Normandy has Central
heating. Marjory collected a bad
cold & then pleurisy & pneumonia.
Hume was the M.O. who looked
after her. Valarie W. has been in love
with Hume ever since we were in
Egypt & he seemed very keen on
her. Marjory has cut her out.
I'm rather glad, for Valarie is
sweet & sensitive & I think Hume
wd be prickly spoilt & selfish.

268
1916 30 Days 24 Sunday -14 aft Trim [268-98] September

Fighting still heavy. We no longer
use pus poultice. Continuous irrigation
is being tried. Very difficult because
it immobilizes the patient. If he does
move the drip pan tips up into the
bed. It will be awful when the
cold weather comes. Balcombe
doing a lot & work with his knee
joints but he hangs on to them too
long & the patient is weak & exhausted
by the time the leg has come off.