Letters from John Wesley Hetherington to his Family, 1916-1918 - Part 3

but yet I  musn't tell, you'll have to guess

while Fritzy knows. Tis a great war this.
Well as I can't tell you where we are or what
we are doing I can't see any good in sitting
here with pencil & paper.
I've plenty to eat, two rooms to myself in a
house like Tommy Golighthy's at Carshield
(hope that isn't a fact of military importance) with
a comfortable bed that never gets made for
there little to make about it, a charcoal
fire that doesn't make ashes & a good job too
as the maid of all work has gone to Liverpool
Camp to try for another job in the privates mess,
and luxurious box seats that can he broken
up for firewood when the fuel runs out.
What more can the soul yearn for.
No revielle here to disturb the slumbers at ungodly
hours of the morning either and I feel inclined
to pe-echo the Pommy is Sydney remark "I
don't think I shall ever go 'ome now."
Not arf I wish they'd come along with that
leave ticket right now. I should just like
to be climber into that new dinner suit of mine
now, hope the Silverfish haven't pimped my
claim to it. I sent Elsie a "monchoir", ( handkerchief
This week hope she'll get it & like it'
In one letter from for this week you tell me
 

of mother turning out a mat in great
style as evidence of her good health
whereat I was greatly pleased, and
then I got a card from Elsie to, say
Mother wasn't quite so well & felt
the heat very much. I'm not quite
sure which to the later news, but I
do hope the former.
I hope she doesn't worry too much
when any letters stop short sometimes
I'm to blame sometimes  the authorities
cut ons mail out. Though I may
miss out writing pretty frequently, I can
assure you I've always got thoughts of
you all in the back of hy head and
the sooner Old Kaiser Bill sings out
"Enough!"  the better I'll like it for there's
no friends like the auld friends
any side up
With love to all
hope Mother is all right again
Wes/.
has he came
Haven't struck J Hannah yet, has be come
to this war or another one?
 

[*35*]
Somewhere in France
28 May /16
Dear Folk at Home
Your letters and newspapers duly to hand, and I
have spent considerable time over the "6 oclock " items
Well I am at present in the most comfortable quarters I
have struck since I joined the Army. I have been
transferred from my Battn to Divisional duties for
some time I hoped and for good I hope.
They have put half of the Armourers in the Division
into a Divisional workshop and your humble servant
is put in charge of it. There are 7 or 8  of us at present
and of the scheme  works O.K there will be an extension.
I don't get any higher rank not yet anyway, but as
I rank as. Senior Armr it ought to be good for something
if I can seek show good results.. The work is "bonzer"
start 8 am finish 4 30 unless there is a push on
and we have a comfortable roomy house for a billet
and I have a real bed to sleep on. If I can't make
it go it won't be my fault. We are about 5 miles
behind the line (firing line) and can see the shells
bursting, quite plainly. There isn't so much moving
about as there is in the Battns they are continually
changing billets and much time is lost is packing and
unpacking tools etc. An Assistant Armr takes our place
in the Battns. We do all repairs to Machine Guns, Rifles,
Cycles (of which there are a great many here) and any other
odds and ends that come along. It will "do me" till the
end of the war anyhow.
I have received letters from Wall & Meg & will
answer them when I run short of

on newspapers.  I still keep up the newspaper habit
tell Else, and could find her a job in our billet
stowing away English & Austn papers pretty often.
Our Chaps ale struggling with French words & the
French are struggling with Dinkums and Bonzers.
The French sweetmeat sellers understand the "Gippo"
"Mafish felonse "(got as money) all right and its
dead funny to hear a French girl trying to say "God
blimey" "like the Tommies". I patter away in French
to an old lady at the back of our billet. She doesn't
understand me half the time and I don't understand
her the other half so we get along quite untill
unintelligibly (bon world that) together
However, I gather from her that the war is "no bon"
of which I was well aware, though the Anzacs affirm
now that this is a good Amry &  a good war. I agree
'tis better than Gallipoli any old time. A bloke can go
for a walk here without shaking hands with Beachy
Bill and without fear of tumbling over the edge of
Anzac into the Sea, so I will say this is a better war.
To return to the old Lady she has quartered all sorts of
"Soldits" French, Anglais, Canadian, Scottish Austn
and Allemands. She says "Allemand" very much
"no bon", they were here about a fortnight and
German officers used the quarters and probably this
same bed & bedroom as I do now. Of course that
doesn't worry me after laying "rabbits" on the
Peninsula. I asked he why she didn't keep
fowls and it appears that they're all been
 

Commandeered by various Soldats, "Ah! Monsieur
la quirre no bon.". she repeats.
She lives in great dread of bombardments and we have
to assure her many times that it is the Anglais who
are firing, and that consoles her.
About 10 yards from our billet are places wrecked by
shells from Fritz about three weeks ago, He had an
objective about there and we were relieved when the "objective"
sought fresh fields & pastures new. Its rather difficult to
coax an 8" shell into another backyard that you own.
and we don't look with a glad eye on uninvited quests
from Fritz-land. We are treated to fine aviation
displays every day. Our planes are top dog here and
'tis something wonderful to see the Coolness of our fliers.
Last evening Fritz hurled tons of hate-pils after
a couple of our planes which were looking into his
backyard. It seemed scarcely possible that they could
live through it but they came home like little Bopeep
wagging  their tails behind them and were up bright
and early this morning having another look. Fritz himself
seldom comes over us and when he does he gets as near
Heaven as he ever will be, and our anti-aircraft guns get
very very to handing him a ticket for - the other place.
So long for the present, never got my pay book again'
Hoping for my leave to England next month.
Doing A. I in good going order
Love to mother & all of you
Wes/.
 

[*37*]
France.
28/6/16
Dear Folks at Home
Having been fairly busy I have missed
two Sundays in writing you, so I am
making an effort to right as business is
quieter. First of all I've met friend Hannah
as no doubt he will inform you. Had a
good long yarn to him, and assured him
that my leg is still on and good oh.
He promised to look me up again as he is
not far from my billet; but I expect they
are in trenches and he won't be able to at
present. I've got a job right into my barrow
now, almost got a fitting shop going and
heaps of opportunity to shine.
I had an idea of mine accepted by Divnl
Headquarter this last week and another has been
forwarded on to 2^nd Army Workshops for adoption
if advisable. The 1^st is for a protected periscope
and orders were issued to put it on all periscopes
throughout the Divn. It was one of those simple
little kinks that everyone who sees it wonders why
it wasn't seen before. I had a note from the
Gide. de. Comp. of the General thanking me for the
trouble I'd taken. WIHAT HO! I felt my hat
getting tight, and I shall have to invent an
expanding hat now. Fancy me inventing
Anything. Shan't tell you what it is the
OVER
 

20
 

Censor might get in on me
I've got another little thing or two running through
my head, and I may hatch something more.
Wish I could invent something to Smother Old
Kaiser from this range. You ought to see
the invention our Avators use on Fritzy's observing
balloons. They tried it last week, Its just like
- that, see? Finish balloon, You
Compris? Talk about sudden death! When
Do I think we'll win? Bet the house on it.
I've got a bonzer souvenir for Else and shall
try to get it away this week. I'm sure she'll
like it. It cost ?Francs. Compris?
When the photographer comes round this way I'll
get him to do me a dozen enlargements of the
Ancient Armonlie. Don't be in too big to hurry
for them as he's never been here yet, in fact he
hasn't called since the war began but an
Aviator may let his Camera fall some day
and if its in working order after that, well, we
may get a photo. I haven't received parcel No
2 yet posted in April, but its early yet, there's
till the end of the was not touched yet. It has
never been known for a postal orderly to become
a Casualty through over excitement.
You ought to see some of the jobs we get in here
rifles twisted by shells into queer shapes, we
have quite a scrap heap after a bombardment.
 

I got a daddy of a job last week making
crossed sword and baton badges for the General
We had to make them out of shell case and I
tell you they weren't too bad after they were engraved
by one of the boys. I managed to have one left
over and I may get a chance to send it on.
This censorship of everything is a confounded
nuisance especially parcels
Hannah is sure to pitch a great tale to you Hope
he doesn't tell you I'm a neutral. That's how
they gig the chaps behind the line. The fighting
men think we do nothing but spoil good
tucker by eating it, whereas as a matter of
fact we are working hard all the time to try
and keep good rifles in their hands. They
have never been served with good arms as they
are being served now since we got this shop
going. As a good scheme & I've put in all I
know. The "Brass hats "(heads) look us up
to say how satisfied they are.
Blimy my letter this week is all skite.
Well anyhow, we can't write about much else
nowadays. By the way its always bally
well raining here. The crops are looking A.1,
especially the barbed wire. Great harvest of
barbed wire "after the war" as the Franch say.
Can't draw back money to bank pay book where Fritz
balloons are. Don't worry. I still sleep on a four
poster Mother. Tre bon.  Yours with best love to Mother
& all Wes/. the 'Ero
OVER
 

A cockney bloke giving a few
hints to "War babies" 3^rd Divn on
Gas
"Hif yuw is in the trench, an yuw
'ears a 'iss, you tikes hoff yuw're
'at, an yuw puts how youure 'elmet."
Remember, me to all the W. L. folk,
I am wondering as to the result of
the 6 'oclock campaign.
Please don't let anyone send any
more Addressed Amrr  Corpl. if
you know of thems. Give Mr Playford
correct address
Armr. StaffSergt JWH.
1^st Divisional Armourey
X 1st Pioneer Battln A.I.F.
France
 

[*38*]
France
8/7/16
Dear Mother & all of you
I have today received your bonzer
parcel and I and my cobbers have nearly
devoured the lot. Everything was 'tre bon" especially
the cake which was voted extra bon. I was lucky to
get it just now as all the units are split up and here there
and everywhere. I'm afraid you are been to considerable
expense & trouble to send me such good things.
Everything in it was good and you might tell Alan I'm
chewing his toffee as I write this and I've one of Fred's
cigars to fall back on tonight when I finish it
Wins socks will come in very useful next week as I
was just about run out for socks. The Chocolates met
with an early death and I must also thank Mag for
her contribution, I really feel somewhat like a spoilt
child or a pampered darling, for really, I'm not
very uncomfortable surroundings. Of Course the straw
doesn't smell too sweet when I lay myself down to sleep 
and the pillow (?) suffer from the mould but it isn't
hardship compared to trench life. We left out last cosy
billet this week and have been doing something like a
camp out since then. We are under orders to move at any
minute and we may have to rejoin our Battns again.
We don't like the idea but the authorities won't stop
to ask us what we like or dislike and I shouldn't be surprized
if we are on our road to see Kaiser Bill before you get
this. Well I hope we'll get it over soon now, I would
like a change of colour to my next years suit.
Kharki is fashionable I know, but we of the 1st Divn