C.J. Dennis, Rose of Spadgers - Part 8

132 ROSE OF SPADGERS

 

I've worked fer this, I've worried night an' day;

An' now it's fixed, I'm tole to "run away".

 

Women is strange. I s'pose I oughter be

Contented; though I never un'erstands.

But when I score, it 'urts me dignerty

To 'ave the credit grabbed out uv me 'ands.

I shouldn't look fer credit, p'raps; an' then,

Women is strange. But bli'me! So is men!

 

XL "STONE THE CROWS"

"STONE THE CROWS"

 

"WHY, stone the crows!" 'e sez. "I like 'er style,

But alwiz, some'ow, women 'ave appeared

Set fer to 'old me orf a 'arf a mile.

I dunno wot's agin me: p'raps me beard.

But, some'ow, when I speak 'em soft they run.

I ain't no ladies' man," sez Danny Dunn.

 

"I like 'er style," 'e sez. "Wot's 'er name! Rose.

The neatest filly that I ever see.

She'd run in double splendid. But I s'pose,

She'd never 'arness with the likes uv me.

Wot age you tell me? Risin' twenty-nine?

Well, stone the flamin' crows! She'd do me fine.

 

"I wonder can she milk? Don't look that kind.

But even if she don't I wouldn't care --

Not much. Stone all the crows! I'd 'arf a mind

To 'ave a shave an' 'ang me 'at up there.

But I ain't got the knack uv it, yeh know,

Or I'd been spliced this twenty year ago."

136 ROSE OF SPADGERS

 

Ole Danny Dunn 'as been to "pay 'is call

An' tell us 'e'll be settlin' down 'ere soon.

'E lobbed in on us sudden, ziff an' all,

An' ain't done nothin' all the afternoon

But lap up tea an' stare pop-eyed at Rose,

'E ain't said nothin' much but "Stone the crows!"

 

Now, as I sees 'im orf, down by the gate,

'E's chirpin' love-songs like a nestin' thrush.

Rose 'as 'im by the w'iskers, sure as fate;

Fer Spring 'as sent 'im soft all uv a rush.

'E's got the beans; an' so she's fixed fer life.

If Danny's game to arst 'er fer 'is wife.

 

An' so me scheme works out all on its own.

I grabbed the notion that day in the train,

When Danny tole me that 'e lived alone.

I reckoned, then, I'd 'ave to use me brain;

But 'ere 'e is stonin' the crows a treat,

An' keen to sling is pile at Rose's feet.

 

I'll show 'em! Them 'oo thinks I got no brains

Will crash when Rose is Mrs. Danny Dunn.

 

"STONE THE CROWS"   137

Doreen don't need to go to too much pains

To show me that she thinks I've nex' to none,

When I take on a job I don't let go

Until I've fixed it, all sirgareneo.

 

"Listen," sez Danny. "Do yeh think a man

'As any chance? I know I don't dress neat."

"Sling it!" I sez. "Don't be a also-ran.

Go in bald-'eaded! Rush 'er orf 'er feet!

They don't know wot they want; women ain't got

No minds, till some strong man shows wot is wot.

 

"I'll 'elp," I tells 'im, "if you play the game.

Don't give 'er time to think. Take 'er be storm.

Many's the lover's bowed 'is 'ead in shame

Becoz 'e was afraid to woo too warm.

Be masterful! Show 'er 'oo's box! 'Ave grit!

That's wot I done, an' come 'ome on the bit.

 

"Look at me now. I got a wife wot 'eeds

My lightest wish. Uv course, I ain't unkind;

But I'm boss uv the show, becoz she needs

A man to lean upon, an' guide 'er mind."

138 ROSE OF SPADGERS

 

"By gum!" sez Danny; "but that must be fine.

That's 'ow I'd like to 'ave a wife uv mine."

 

I tells 'im there's a dance on Fridee night;

'E must be there, tricked out in nobby clo'es

An' all spruced up. I'll see it fixed up right

So 'e can make the goin' good with Rose.

"I don't dance much," 'e sez. "But p'raps me luck's

Changed round; an stone the crows! I'll chance the

ducks!"

 

So far,ribuck. I'm no back number yet;

Although they treats me as brainless yob.

I may be slow to start; but don't ferget,

I still got some idears back uv me nob.

An' once I've got Rose wed an' fixed fer life

I might su'prise respeck out uv me wife.

 

I might, but ----Listen. Can you tell me this;

Why am I takin' all these speshul pains,

An' worried lest me plans will go amiss?

Why am I dead set to use me brains?

Dunno; no more than you; fer, spare me days!

A man's a puzzle to 'imself, some ways.

 

XII.  LISTENER'S LUCK

LISTENER'S LUCK

 

"MY sort," she sez, "don't meet no fairy prince,". . . 

I can't 'elp 'earin' part uv wot was said

While I am sortin' taters in the shed.

They've 'ad these secret confabs ever since

Rose came. 'Er an' Doreen's been 'eart to 'eart,

'Oldin' pow-wows in which I got no part.

 

Not that I want to. This 'ere women's craze

Fer torkin' over things is jist 'ot air;

An' never reely gits 'em anywhere.

It don't concern me if they yap fer days.

My bloomin' troubles! But, as I jist said,

I can't 'elp 'earin' as they pass the shed.

 

"My sort," sez Rose, "don't meet no fairy prince."

'Er voice seems sort uv lonely like an' sad.

"Ah well," she sez, "there's jobs still to be 'ad

Down in the fact'ries. I ain't one to wince

Frum all the knowcks I've 'ad--an' will 'ave. Still,

Sometimes I git fed-up against me will.

142   ROSE OF SPADGERS

 

"Some women 'ave the luck," she sez; "like you.

Their lives seem made fer love an' joy an' sport.

But I'm jist one uv the unlucky sort.

I've give up dreamin' dreams; they don't come true.

There ain't no love or joy or sport fer me.

Life's made me 'ard; an' 'ard I got to be."

 

"Oh, rubbidge!" sez Doreen. "You've got the blues,

We all 'ave bad luck some times, but it mends.

An' you're still young, my dear; you 'ave your

friends.

Why should you think that you must alwiz lose?

The sun's still shinin'; birds still sing, an' court;

An' men still marry." Rose sez, "Not my sort.

 

"Ah, wot's the use?"she sez. "You 'ave been good--

Too good -- an' it's ungrateful I should grieve;

But when it comes the time that I must leave

All this an'---Oh, I should 'ave understood.

I was a fool to come. I should 'ave known

'Ow it would be. I should 'ave stayed alone."

 

An' then--Aw, well, I thort I knoo me wife,

'Ow she can be so gentle an' so kind,

An' all the tenderness that's in 'er mind;

 

[Illustration of a building and tree with lady standing on a bridge]

LISTENER'S LUCK    145

 

As I've 'ad cause to know through marrid life.

But never 'ave I 'eard 'er wisdom speak

Sich words before. It left me wond'rin'----meek.

 

Yes, meek I felt--an' proud, all in the one;

Proud fer to know 'ow fine my wife can be;

Meek fer to think she cares fer sich as me.

"Ope lasts," I 'ear 'er say,"till life is done.

An' life can bring us joy, I know it can.

I know; fer I've been lucky in my man."

 

There's a wife for yeh! Would n't any bloke

Feel great to 'ear 'is wife say things like that?

I know I've earned it; but it knocked me flat.

"Been lucky in 'er man." That's 'ow she spoke.

"The dear ole simple block'ead," sez Doreen.

"'E's reel good 'earted, though 'e's orful green."

 

There's a wife for yeh! Green! Thick in the 'ead!

To think she'd go an 'tork be'ind me back,

Gossip,an' paint me character that black!

146     ROSE OF SPADGERS

 

I'm glad I can't 'ear more uv wot was said.

They wander off, down by the creek somewhere.

Green! Well, I said that women talk 'ot air.

 

I thinks uv Danny Dunn, an' wot I've planned.

Doreen don't know wot I got up me sleeve;

An' Rose don't know that she won't 'ave to leave,

Not once I come to light an' take a 'and.

Block'ead won't be the name they'll call me then.

Women can tork; but action needs us men.

 

Yet, I dunno. Some ways it ain't so fine.

Spit uv 'is money, Danny ain't much catch.

It seems a pity Rose can't make a match

That's reel romantic, like Doreen's an' mine;

But then again, although 'e's old an' plain,

Danny's a kinder fate than Spadgers Lane.

 

Bit later on I see Rose standin' by

That bridge frum where Mick waved 'is last fare-

well

When 'e went smilin' to the war, an' fell.

'Ow diff'rint if 'e 'ad n't come to die,"

I thinks. Life's orful sad, some ways.

Though it's 'ard to be sad on these Spring days.

 

LISTENER'S LUCK      147

Doreen 'as left, fer reasons uv 'er own;

'An Rose is gazin' down into the stream,

Lost, like it seems, in some un'appy dream.

She looks perthetic standin' there alone.

Wis'ful she looks. But when I've turned away

I git a shock to 'ear 'er larfin' gay.

 

It's that coot Wally Free; 'e's with 'er now.

Funny 'ow 'is fool chatter makes 'er smile,

An' shove 'er troubles under fer a while.

(Pity 'e don't pay more 'eed to 'is cow

Instid uv loafin' there. 'E's got no sense.

I'm sick uv tellin' 'im to mend that fence.)

 

'Er sort don't meet no fairy prince . . .  Ar, well.

Fairy gawdfathers. p'raps, wot once was knights,

Might take a turn at puttin' things to rights.

Green? Block'ead, am I? You can't alwiz tell.

Wait till I wave me magic mit at Rose,

An' turn 'er into "Mrs. Stone-the-crows."

XIII.     THE DANCE

THE DANCE

 

"HEIRLUMS," 'e sez. "I've 'ad the trousiz pressed.

Me father marrid in 'em, that 'e did.

See this 'ere fancy vest?

See this 'ere lid?

Me gran'dad brough that frum 'is native land

In forty-two--an' then 'twas second-'and."

 

Clobber? Oh, 'elp! Pants uv wild shepherd's plaid,

A coat that might 'ave knocked the cliners flat

When father was a lad,

A tall, pot 'at

That caught the mange back in the diggin's days,

A fancy vest that called fer loud 'oorays.

 

But loud 'oorays don't 'arf ixpress my rage

When Danny comes up'olstered fer the jig.

I've seen it on the stage,

That comic rig;

But never at a country dance before

'Ave I seen sich crook duds as Danny wore.