Michael Billings Collection - Wallet 10 - Part 17 of 18

7/
thought that) had imbued us with 
Dutch courage we gratefully sank 
into the fourposter.  I’m very glad 
now that you think I behaved like 
a gent for it is truly an ordeal for 
a pure girl to completely yield herself 
to a man for the first time and small 
wonder you felt some trepidation.  I 
at least understood your feelings and would 
have been disappointed to have found you 
otherwise.  I suppose its the same with 
most people, at any rate those of our own
calibre, but the beginning of the fullness 
of one’s sex life is fraught with much 
difficulty and indecision.  Perhaps its as 
well, for the gradual evolution from 
a constrained awkwardness to an easy 
realisation of the almost unbelievable 
rapture of the fusion of the body of the

8/
person you love above all else with your 
own can only be accomplished after an 
educational period, the advantages of which 
are only realised when the latter has 
been achieved.  Its a matter if not for 
congratulation at least for satisfaction 
that we resisted temptation until it was 
morally & physically right for by so 
doing we preserved the essence of its glory 
and had no need of secretive intercourse 
that in my mind tarnishes a thing 
precious beyond price.  So we embarked 
on the joy of a fruitful association, the 
pent up fire of our passage passion allowed to 
seek its natural outlet.  It would be 
idle to assert that the love of years was 
consummated entirely with a view to 
reproduction, we are too human to 
be such paragons and I freely confess

9/
that -often when under the spell of your fiery 
lips and caressing hands, the compelling 
thought, if one was capable of thought at 
such a time, was to derive from my 
mate all the joyful and mastering pleasure 
it was hers to bestow and then in turn 
to transmit back to her, the torrent she 
had aroused.  During our first week 
in Melbourne it could be truly said 
that in every way we discovered one another.  
Although we had loved for years it 
amazed me to discover lots of things about 
you I had not known before.  It's no 
wonder we both look back on 
that Brisbane enchantment with such deep 
pleasure.  As far as I’m concerned it was 
there that my darling was revealed to 
me in so many of the settings she 
adorns so charmingly.  There I beheld

10/
you as the great pal you always were, the 
lover whose depths I found and I had scarcely 
plumbed, the wife who went about and 
performed her tasks admirably and with 
serene contentment and right from the start I 
was conscious of the potential mother 
of my child. With that generous serving 
of happy comradeship, domestic bliss, 
abundant & and complete love culminating
in the conception of our dearly beloved 
Richard there’s no wonder those months 
have left an indelible impression on our 
minds. It seems now that it was a 
kind of a mission made available to us
to frustrate the deprivation caused by the 
war and how well it succeeded.  Alas, 
the time came too soon when the incurable 
demands of war thrust us apart but I suppose 
it was ordained that such joy was 

11/
vouchsafed to us to help us bear the 
cruelty of further separation. I lived and 
enjoyed the life you made for me to the 
full and it is only when my restless 
thoughts meditate upon the barrenness of 
life up here that I can appreciate the 
beauty of our prolonged yet all too brief 
Brisbane honeymoon. Often as I lay wide 
eyed in my makeshift bed, my sweat 
bedewed body clamors for the soothing 
ministrations and stirring caresses it came 
to love. Although the Army commissariat 
and the amenities are a pale shadow 
of what you provided for me one can dismiss such 
as no lasting harm is done and the lack 
only whets the anticipation of what awaits 
you when you return. The hard core that 
baffles and frustrates is the severance 
of your society and say what you may

12/
thats a real sacrifice as there is no way
to get over it, it has to be conquered that's
all and what escape there is is only to
be found in ways dishonorable and
repugnant to people such as you and I.
This letters is noticeable for the frequent
recourse to the first person singular but
your letters encourage me to believe that 
I mirror your own feelings and in spite
of what may seem a selfish preoccupation,
please believe me when I say I understand
your feelings. I could not write in this 
strain were I not conscious of your 
predicament. Although we have been
blessed with a glorious son, we have
not had so much time together, it 
was sufficiently long enough for us
to learn what true love can mean
but to love is a thing that grows by

13/
the constant cultivation of personal
appreciation. That's why we glory in those 
periods in the past when we were together
visually and spiritually. Today we still 
love but the absence of the former with 
its multitude of happy things makes
things so incomplete. Truly it is so when
even you who has borne and cherishes the
rich fruits of our love and sincerely 
confesses that even he cannot fill your life
sufficiently to quench the call for your
mate. And he won’t either for this is 
something fundamental & instinctive 
aggravated by being put off too long 
and widely divorced in many respects from the 
dignity of maternity. That’s why its so 
different, its something primitive known 
before such a thing as dignity. As I read 
back on this, I find I have got rather grim

14/
and to paint a more pleasant picture 
the time grows closer when the pangs will 
be assuaged and we are still reasonably 
young both in years and experience. I 
deplore the fact that we aren’t younger 
but you can’t put the clock back. So 
as the end of this a young book approaches 
I assure you I cling staunchly to lively 
hope and God willing will come back 
to you just perishing to love & be 
loved by you and to try to and emulate 
as a Dad, your wonderful job as 
a Mother. Not the least thing of comfort 
to me is your fine background as 
my true love, my junior mother and 
the spirit that makes fellows live well 
and die gallantly for things that are good.
Goodnight, my precious Kay and kiss 
the bonnie laddie. Yours forever 
and no kidding. Dad 
PR00610 Australian
War Memorial

Opened by Censor 
ACTIVE SERVICE 
AIR MAIL 
Name Only
Michael Billings 
[Up to three letters may be forwarded in
this Cover but these must be all from the
same writer. The Cover should be addressed
in such case to the Deputy Base Censor. The
Covers of enclosed letters must be left open
by sender.]
14 10 43
Address :-
Mrs. M. Billings
548 Barkers Road
East Hawthorn
Victoria

Opened by Censor.
PR00610
Australian
War Memorial

CHURCH OF ENGLAND FEDERATED WAR WORK COUNCIL 
  
19.10.1943 
Australia Cpl. M. Billings 
District Accounts. 
Office New Guinea 
  
Darling Kay. 
By the time this 
reaches you my latest G.E. 
effort will have reached arrived and 
I trust you will derive some 
satisfaction from the contents. 
It lacks nothing on the score of 
length at least but it shall defer 
further comment until you have 
digested it and can tell me 
what kind of a taste it left 
in your mouth.   
To create words of 
wisdom in this screed I am 
pleased to tell you that three 
letters from one you have been my 
portion the last two days as 
well as three bundles of papers 
from you. Let us then to our 
muttons and have a pow-wow 
with you. First thanks for your

2/ 
congratulations nothing really if 
you knew how it easy it was 
to achieve such a distinction. 
Still the few bob will come in 
handy to rehabilitate the Billings 
fortune and in all modesty 
I have a hunch that a further 
elevation is not beyond my compass. 
Very nice to see my 'beautiful' 
letters, the parentheses are yours' 
are getting to you O.K. I was 
eager to learn your reaction 
to my views about your mother's 
view future and mighty pleased 
that she has kicked on like 
the good game'un she is. Seeing 
she is in accord with your plan 
all is well and when the time 
comes to translate the idea into 
terms of action, all should be in 
order. If I don't happen to be 
there I have full confidence that 
you will put the deal through, 
probably more expeditiously without

3/ 
my well meaning but ineffectual 
aid. By jove the nice things you 
said about me made me blush, 
but I loved every word of it. Who 
doesnt like to be told they are a 
good guy? I tried to be sincere without 
becoming flowery and if my words 
pleased your dear mother and made 
you love me even more than you 
did then I am well repaid for 
just saying 'aye' to your idea. 
As for making the offer and then 
telling me about it later, maybe it 
would be a bit irregular in normal 
times but theyse aren't normal times 
and under the circumstances I don't 
see how you could have decently 
acted otherwise. And surely I you 
can assess my worth sufficiently by 
now that to know your excellent 
plan would get a hand from poor 
Micky. Its jolly fine that Master 
Richard is a source of pleasure 
to her. The rage of the town he

SAILORS & SOLDIERS CHURCH OF ENGLAND HELP SOCIETY
  
4/ 
surely is and only that I'm his 
father and that he has no doubt 
inherited his sunny disposition, 
correct deportment etc. etc. from 
me quenches the fires of envy 
for within my honest breast. 
Your methods of bringin' up baby 
certainly produce good results but 
the spectacle of my lovely Puss 
being severe taxes my composure 
a good deal. S'cusi please.   
I don't want to keep old 
wounds opened but I have had 
a letter from John and thought 
you would like to see what he 
had heard about it your brother 
John The piece about it I enclose 
as it requires no further ef  explanation 
except to confirm what I have heard.

5/
You sound very gay about the return 
to pre-babe proportions of your 
lissome figure, vain puss. I'm 
with you through pet because I 
want you to look like you did 
in the old days not changed 
at all in fact. See to it, my 
charmer or else. I shall be 
delighted to renew my digital 
acquaintance with your curly 
thatch, can you imagine me from 
refraining from the pleasure of 
rumpling it. I am displeased with 
your admission that it aint what 
it used to be so thats another 
job for you until my coming 
coaxing paws p feel for themselves 
I've changed my mind again about 
the way I like your locks, worse 
than a woman I am and 
at I  am sending you a snap of