Michael Billings Collection - Wallet 3 - Part 12 of 14

No.48 VX38483 Gnr M Billings. C Section 
5th. Aust. Hy. A/A Battery. 2. Aust. A/A 
Regt. A.J.7. Abroad. 1.12.41 

My Darling, 
With the usual lame overture, I open this 
epistle by the polite but nevertheless sincere trust that the 
arrival of same finds your chunky carcase pulling with 
energy and well being and that your rosy mug is frequently 
wreathed in smiles. Before proceeding further, letter no. 
47 is an Active Service pamphlet which I feel sure will 
be gladly received and I make bold to say joyfully read. 
I am not suffering from a surfeit of conceit when I say 
that by but merely echo my own feelings when I scan a 
letter from you couched in like strain. Anyhow, this is 
intended to be a letter containing a spot of news and 
gossip so will leave No. 47 to serve the purpose of a 
strictly private tete-a-tete, quite inadequate though it may 
be. As I said, your cheery tales up to No. 82 are to hand 
and as I see it, there are several matters calling for comment. 
I forgot to tell you my health, morale and esprit-de-corps 
to quote a few are quite ducky, between you & I, there's no real 
reason why they should not be as things of late have been 
quite placid and from the fund of our inventive resources, 
we have devised quite a few chunks of fun that keep

2/ 
and matures young if not and figures. I must tell you of 
them. Last week, occurred the Big Boatrace in which 
six home made craft competed. We had two common 
& garden row boats, one Osaki a shallow affair in which 
the propelling genius employs a double headed paddle used 
from the standing position, one catamaran, the outriggers 
of which played havoc with the other contestants during the 
contest, next was a raft to which was bolted two kerosene 
tins upon which sat side by side the crew of two armed with 
huge paddles, while the star turn was a canoe in the 
centre of which was mounted an ancient bike with a 
Kind of propeller fitted on, there also being two paddlers 
with the third member of its crew of course to combine the 
functions of cyclist and sailor. The event, of course, was a 
handicap affair and the latter craft was first away followed 
at intervals by the less fantastic boats. The spectacle of a chap 
out on the blue water furiously pedalling and making scant 
progress was, to put it mildly, amusing. After covering 300 
yards the pedaller was showing bellows to mend so a relief 
was agreed upon. As one the paddlers arose to clamber aboard 
the bike, the weight thus taken off the port side caused this 
weird contraption to take the plunge to Davy Jones. All would 
have been well but in capsizing the vessel hit its skipper 
upon the nose breaking it so that gallant ship and

3/ 
crew were adjudged hors-de-combat. As the prize for the race 
was a dozen bottles and the rules were very elastic, the 
rest of the field showed little scruple when ranging alongside 
one another. One classic was a poke in the guts one rower 
received when jostling for position rounding a buoy which sent 
the unfortunate into the briny. After a lot of scuffling that 
exhausted many competitors, the final lap resolved itself into 
a keen duel but the laddie in the Osaki kept his feet 
throughout and won by a length amid loud cheers from the 
successful backers. A good time was had by all except he 
of the broken conk. Christmas looming up, we hope to 
present a flag during that week, of course, providing we 
don't get pushed off to the wilds. I have been roped in as 
one of the cast having qualified as one of the camp dags. This 
company of dags is a very select one as all of them are 
in the play. the fun should be there as its a buck's 
show. we are not pulling our punches. The balance of camp 
topics are the customary things, beer is still available, I had 
a noggin of Castlemaine XXXX last night. Have cultivated a 
taste for rolls and garlic of lately; we term them "Victory 
Buns" and they are hot stuff, if a bit on the nose. 
No more parcels and papers since I last wrote but I 
s'pose more will roll in soon.

4/ 
Glad to see you have conquered the sleeplessness consequent 
upon working night shift as I freely admit the thought 
of you working so hard and not getting enough rest to 
supply the energy to carry on, troubled me a great deal. I 
hope the parcel I sent together with all letters mailed to 
date reach you before Christmas as I am emboldened by 
improved war tidings to believe that the next one I shall spend with 
you. It would be wonderful to be packing up ready to board 
the ship. Once again, thanks for the snaps and blades, 
the former will I love to have pictures of you to gaze at in 
moments of depression and in these parts a good shave can only 
be had by a good blade. So while there is no comparison 
between the two, may I say both are well chosen. I still cling to 
my fondness for the two already referred to with the one of the previous 
series a close third. Your you're a gorgeous little bundle of 
femininity, you tantalising imp. I shall certainly oblige you 
with that wrestle you spoke about but as a big reward for 
your war effort, I shall let you win. Being trussed up 
in those shapely limbs of yours takes away the sting of defeat. 
I reckon, particularly so as I think your terms for surrender 
would entail a certain amount of shall we say, amatory 
osculation. (Fathead, arnn't I?) Yes, Ass, of course, I've 
still got your locket, do you thing I love those

5/ 
kind of things. Of course, I shall mail a small portion of 
my dwindling halo ere long. Sorry pet, I overlooked it 
so long. Owd Bob Sutton is away on leave at Cairo just now 
I suppose the old reprobate will return a wreck from the 
wicked city. Funny these joints think they're awfully wicked, 
but except that wogs are naturally filthy swine, their 
dark dins are just boring to anyone with a scrap of decency. 
I see your brother John has not taken his leave yet owing to the 
need for his lads to get a few new garments. It's a work of art 
squeezing some new duds out of the Q blokes. At last, I'm 
getting close to a new hat, mine has several holes and has been 
slept on, stood on, rained on (oh not that, no). Its my original 
issue and is truly a venerable relic and grudgingly has been 
condemned. I I'm glad my battle bowler has not been perforated 
like the felt feller as that would mean that my skull, thick as 
it is, would also be a bit dented. By hokey, I quaked one 
night when in the midst of the big fight, I could hear the 
offerings from some other cow kissing the waves not too far away. 
You will sympathise when I tell you we have a very vulgar name for 
other peoples scrap metal. Before I close, someone sent me 1000 
cigarettes through [[MyerS]], damned if I know who it was. They are right 
welcome but a bloke likes to have someone to thank for such 
munificence. Well, Puss darling, time gentlemen please so cheerio for a 
while and as always, all my love. Mick.

AIR.MAIL 

48 Miss. K. Clarke, 
1 1241 548 Barkers Road 
East Hawthorn 
Victoria Australia

written 1.12.41 
Received 24.12.41 
Egypt