Ca Ne Fait Rien - Part 11

PEACE EDITION

OF                 
CE NE FAIT RIEN

Sambreton                                     
11-11-1918 

ADVERTISEMENTS
FOR SALE:- Rifle in good condition                
owner has no further use for it,

apply Digger.
FOR EXCHANGE:- G.S. LIMBERED WAGON   
will exchange for Tip - Dray or

buggy, apply Porteus, This Office.

Wanted to meet young lady must be
Australian, quiet disposition, gentle,

and a good cook, one able to

make Bully Rissoles preferred,

apply ''Billjim. 
For Exchange :- Tin of Bully, 6 Army

biscuits and a tin of Plum and

Apple for farm in quiet part

of "Aussie" apply Alex Stafford

Ode to Peace

I'll never forget the — day we fought

the —Turk, 

We landed in — April and we dug in the — dirt. 

For Fifteen thousand — years, or anyway —near,

We stayed on the — Penninsula without any — beer.             

The Turk had only ten thousand guns and he fired

them every chance 

So they reckoned it wasn't hot enough and — well brought      

us to France.                                                   
We landed somewhere in the —South and got in                   

a — train                                                                        

We journeyed 3 days to Flanders, got out in the — rain   

We've only been here 3 — years and its rained all          

the — while,                                                                  

They gave us a — gas helmet and a — big Tin Tile.                 

We lived in the — Wipers mud and fought on the           

 — Somme                                                                         

We spent Christmas in snow at Wyscherite and it            

wasn't to  — bon.                                                               

But I'll never forget the  — day in billets in  — Bazeau           

When the — Hun chucked up the sponge and the            

Kaiser had to go.      

FAMOUS FELLOWS 

ON FLANDERS  

[*12-52*]

Hand drawn picture - see original document
Lieut.

Stafford M.C.

Tock O.

Transport Officer of the 6^th

He served as a platoon officer

in many actions and won his

M.C. at Lihons with D Coy.

where they won much praise

by their magnificent charge

against great odds.

THEATRES

At the Gaiety: -  

"What a happy time"

or

"When the war is over.'

The Lyric: -

"Off wiv 'is 'ead"

or

"What will we do
with the Kaiser."

The Playhouse

" I know a girl"

or

"Somewhere in 
Australia"

The Olympic

"The  unconsumed

portion"

or

"Finishing the War."

Pavilion

"We won't be there"

or

"The next war"

PUBLISHED IN THE FIELD

11-11-18

Sambreton

SPECIAL NUMBER

CE NE FAIT RIEN

[*12-53*]

APRĖS LE GUERRE

^_____  A vision ^________      

It was in the year 19 –. The old

soldier, down from his home, in the 

country, for a holiday, stopped to look

at the magnificent building, fronting the 

opposite side of the street.  The 

inscription above the great swing doors,

caught his eye.  It read

WAR RELICS MUSEUM

TROPHIES CAPTURED BY

THE AUSTRALIAN ARMY

THIS BUILDING OPENED BY

W.M. HUGHES

A.D. MDCCCCXX .

A gleam of interest came into his eye.

He mounted the steps, pushed open the

doors, and entering, found himself in a 

large vestibule.  He gazed around in a 

bewildered way, not knowing whither to go 
next. At this juncture the caretaker of

the establishment espied him, and perceiving

his hesitation, came forward and addressed

him, very affably. "It is apparent, Sir, that

you are a stranger to this city, otherwise

I am at a loss to explain your evident

unfamiliarity, with our magnificent

collection. The old man replied. "Your

surmise is entirely correct. I was very

agreeably surprised today, by the sight

of this new, and palatial, building, since I

had not been in this city for years,

in fact, since I returned from my

soldiering abroad: — "Stop!" said

the caretaker, "before we proceed any

further, I would have you know, that

entrance to this building, is absolutely

prohibited to all soldiers, whether

serving or discharged." "You surprise

me" said the ex-soldier, "What may be

the reason for this astonishing regulation

"The reason is clear enough" returned

the other, "since those who served

overseas, must be familiar with the

weapons, documents, implements, and

devices, which form the major part of

this museum. Therefore, it was the

barest justice, to confine the

privilege of seeing them now, to their less

fortunate brethren, who did not go abroad.

"However, come!" continued he, clapping the

stranger heartily upon the shoulder.

"I perceive you to be, a man of infinite

discrimination. Without presumption, I

may venture to show you the treasures

and chief glories, of our collection —

- The best of its kind in the world".

So saying, he led the way into a large room

A multitude of glass cases were arranged

along its walls, and a label pasted upon

each case, demonstrated the nature of its

contents. The guide paused before the

first of these. "Here, for example".

indicating a tattered sheet of paper,

covered with a rough scrawl. "We have

an absolutely true and correct parade

state. This is vouched for by five and

twenty separate affidavits. Observe the

date. Nov. 1^st 1918, and the company

(almost illegible, I fear) B Company

6^th BATTALION A.I.F. Generations of company

clerks, Sir, have studied this document -

 - the only one of its nature in existence".

The visitor gazed, with awe, at the sacred

relic. "Machine guns — he began -

His guide interrupted impatiently -

"Machine guns! We have cellars full of

them – why look at such trash? –

Now here" he continued, with enthusiasm

"We have the last pair of dinkum

Aussie putties issued in France. They

were unearthed from the fathomless

recesses of a Q.M.Store, at the end

of the war. The man who received them

burst a blood-vessel, through excitement

and expired. From thence, they were

forwarded to us, in a hermetically

sealed case. They constitute one of our

most treasured souvenirs". The visitor

looked with amazement at this rarity

PEACE EDITION

CE NE FAIT RIEN

11-11-18

Sambreton

[*12-54*]

"We captured several Fritz bombs"—

he began -— Again he was interrupted

"Bombs!" shouted the guide, "Why speak

of bombs? Our garrets and lumber rooms

are filled with rubbish like that. Let us

be reasonable, and examine articles of
some real value. For instance; " he

turned to a large case filled with

dozens of flags. "here we have the

identical flag which was hoisted on

ANZAC REDOUBT, 20^th SEPTEMBER, 1917."

"Which one is it"? said the stranger.

"Every one" replied the guide. "each

flag was accompanied by sworn

statements, of unimpeachable veracity".

The visitor's brain reeled. "My

battalion took trench mortars" he

began. "Trench Mortars!" roared the

guide in a fury "We have acres full

of trench mortars. No one looks at them

nowadays. Regard this, now – and he

pointed to a large parchment scroll

covered with thousands of names.

"This is the famous petition, from

the natives of the convalescent, Base,

and training Camps of England and 

France. On the cessation of hostilities

this petition, offering to serve with

their units until demobilization, was

signed by every man – A most

glorious page in our military history".

The visitor looked at the parchment

in wonder. "There was a howitzer"

he began, timidly – "Howitzers"!

thundered the guide, frenziedly. "We

have prairies, covered with howitzers

I see that you have been deceived, and

that you underrate the scope of this

institution. According to statistics

supplied by the "Anzac Bulletin." every

member of the A.I.F., captured 20

M.Guns, 6 Trench Mortars, and a quarter

of a howitzer. At the present rate

of consumption, enough to supply

the Commonwealth for a million years

But to return to our war relics –

Here we have a cooks equipment

complete and certified by —

The visitor fled.

—WE WANT TO KNOW — 

Who saw the two dead Fritzes in the

gutter near Bazuel?

"We buried them darkly by dead of night

The sods with our bayonets turning"

Yes the —— sods.

Is it true that the retreat from Mons

ribbon is being issued to the German

Army?

Whether the Band are the only ones

who carry out orders regarding night

marches. i.e. Strict silence throughout.?

Whether the Regimental Watchmaker

has a contract to repair locomotives

down at La Cateau?

And if he will take his present set of

tools to do it with?

Whether the declaration of peace will

be accompanied by a display of falling

stars?

Whether the pay Sergeant is waiting to

pay us in marks?

Not red marks, of course.

Whether the C.O and Adjutant found

it difficult to salute with a load of

carrots

The transport Sergeant's favourite text.

"Paul, Paul, why persecutest thou me?"

Whether Corporal Bruhn, has adopted

the attitude of passive resistance, of

his predecessor

Why do they Call Rube Wheeler "Shylock"?

Because he always wants his pound of flesh

Whether the following officers sleep

together every night. The I.O,

The Sig.O, The L.G.O, The Asst Adjt,

and the O.C. H.Q. Details?

And what they do in their spare time?

SPECIAL PEACE EDITION OF

CE NE FAIT REIN

6^th Bn. A.I.F. 11 o'clock 11-11-1918

[*12-55*]

Hand drawn picture - see original document

FOR SALE OLD IRON AND JUNK

Hand drawn picture - see original document

No it's no use kidding me

with that Peace Phurf.

I've heard

that tale

before

Hand drawn picture - see original document

APRĖS LE GUERRE

EX. BILL JIM

AS MOTOR CYCLE

DASHES BY:—

"DUCK DIGGER DUCK!

THERE GOES A MACHINE GUN

Hand drawn picture - see original document

Have a look, Cobber,

You can almost see

Good Old "Aussie" now

Hand drawn picture - see original document

THE KAISER

GETS

HIS

AT

LAST

Hand drawn picture - see original document

PHOTO OF THE MAN WHO SAYS HE FIRED THE LAST SHOT OF THE WAR

"Ce Ne Fait Rien" 

Bohain 

15-11-1918

Published by 
6^th Bn. A.I.F. 
Every Friday 
(Sometimes)

On Dit

They say that now that S.M. Wright has 
been taken on the staff of this rag 
it is worth reading.

that:- "Buzzes from the B hive" have some 
sting in them.

that:- The Battalion Xmas cards were 
designed and written by members of 
the sixth.

that:- Lt. Catherwood knows where all 
the Beautiful Bohain Bints live.

that:- Catchpole cooks captured cabbage 
camouflarged cleverly.

that:- Sergt. Major Oliver loves the ladies.

that:- A certain L/Cpl. has been seen 
putting a point on his bayonet and 
muttering something like blood.

that:- certain batmen know where the 
coal dump is.

that:- "Springs" the watchmaker is making 
good headway by lumping coal for 
Marie Louise.

that:- "Springs" is not the only one.

that:- The Aust. Comforts Funds sent us 
33 cases of comforts.

that:- We'll forget how to use money if 
they are it so long between pay days.

that:- The A.P.M. was 
pleased to see the 
flares going up last 
night.

that:- He likes to see the 
diggers happy— 
"who drew dat pluck".

that:- 89 matresses have 
been filled with the 
hair collected in the 
Regimental Barber's 
shop on Friday.

that:- it's easy to tell 
that the C.O. is back. 
Half the officers are 
limping and the Q.M. has 
that "every picture tells 
a story" expression.

Hand drawn picture - see original document

Battalion

Beauties

Baker's 
Bird

Famous Fellows From Flanders

Hand drawn picture - see original document

[*12-56*]

George Robey 
may be alright in his 
way but he is not famous 
enough to be featured 
in "Ce Ne Fait Rien" 
This picture by one of 
the Worlds most noted 
artists is of one of 
those, who, sit in the 
seats of the mighty:- 
Capt T. G. PAUL 
2^nd Bde. Tock Oh 
Capt. Paul served through 
the Gallipoli Campaign 
as a digger in the 6^th 
On our return to Egypt 
he got his commission 
and became Transport 
Officer, later he reached 
the dizzy hights of Bde. 
T.O. and all the best 
generals say:- "good 
morning, Paul." 
He sings a good song. 
Tells a splendid story 
and can recite to 
some purpose.

15-11-18

Ce Ne Fait

[*12-57*]

OUR POETS CORNER

(FIRST CONTRIBUTION FROM ACROSS THE RHINE) 

 — LaMeNT of Heinrich —

I

I vass a simple Deutscher vunce, und like myselfs as such 
I think der things ve vant to get, iss not so very much 
Schust Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia und Noumea, 
Und a coaling station in Japan, dot vil be all dis year 
Hi-Lee! Hi-Lo!, der vinds dey blow, schust like Die Wacht am Rhein 
Und vat iss mein, belongs to me, but vat its yours iss mein.

II 

We haf der great unconquered, fleet, all vaiting for der Day 
Ven we shall scnlas der Englisch ships, und sweep dem all away 
Und if dey will not beaten be, before our fleet begin 
Our Unter-sea-boats sink dem all, und we come out und win 
Hi-Lee! Hi-Lo!! der vinds dey blow, Our pace iss in der sun, 
Und we shall rule the ocean blue, when everytings iss done.

III

Our army shall kolossal be, mit generalls und guns, 
Und ven der foeman sees dem come, he frightened iss, und runs 
Und so our solldiers cheer at dis, fur Kaiser und fur Gott 
Und chase dem up mit bravery, und capture all der lot 
Hi-Lee! Hi-Lo! der winds dey blow, like Deutschland űber all 
Der world may stop, der sun may drop, but ve can never fall.

IV 

But ven, ve try to do it all, ve find us sometings wrong 
Der Englisch ships nicht sunken are, deir guns iss much too strong 
Und if our U-Boats try it on, ein small destroyer Komms 
Und spots dem in der wasser dere, und strafens dem mit bombs 
Hi-Lee! Hi-Lo! der vinds dey blow. Britannia rules der Sea 
Und if our ships come out auf Kiel, dey shall gesunken be

Rien.

Published in the Field.

[*12-58*]

V

Our army starts to chase der foe, dey do not fairly play 
Der schwein hunds shoot our men mit guns, und vill not run away 
Und ven we try to sleep ourselves, und has ein easy night 
Dey throw der bomb at Hermann's post, und kill us mit der fright 
Hi-Lee! Hi-Lo! der vinds dey blow, Australia vil be dere 
No matter ven we start to push, we find dem every where 

VI 

Und so we shall to Deutschland go, and take der homeward track 
Mit tousands chasing us behind, to see us safely back 
Yes, shall Ich swear by ünser Gott, that never, never, more 
Schall any Kron prinz get me on, to try another war 
Hi-Lee! Hi-Lo! der vinds dey blow, Good night, dear love, goodnight 
No matter vat der trouble iss, I finished am mit fight.

Kaput 

TROPICAL NOTES.

Strange how the Army has ruined a man for his peace time 
employment. Yet there is not a digger who wants to have 
anything to do with mines for a long time.

Germany's p speed the road to progress, may be measured 
in revolutions per minute

I suppose the change of air at Bohain will do the heads 
some good

PAY AT LAST Vive la Francs!

Forthcoming Lecture at Temperance Hall, Bohain. 
"Under the Stars and stripes" 
By a harassed Lee Private

Is it true that A Coy Cooks have spent all their pay 
on Metal Polish for the Cooker?

Bohain "Ce Ne Fait Rien" 

Published by 
6^th Bn. A.I.F. 

15-11-18

[*12-59*]
Our Short Serial Story 
Fritzies' Failure 
or 
Don't push Willie 
While he's wobbling

Synopsis of previous 
chapters:- 

Jug Jorgensen the 
gaoler of Jutland 
is in love with 
Dorothy the daughter 
of the dentist. 
Jug is only a poor 
Quartermaster Major 
and the determined 
dentist will not consent 
to the match unless Jug gets 
a job in the regimental canteen and 
thus becomes rich. Gutzer Gibbet 
a tall dark man of saturnine 
expression, who always wears 
a dress suit, a belltopper 
and a cape coat 
comes upon the scene. Ah-r-r-r-r 
he cries.

Chapter XVIIICIIXXXIIICX

Jug Jorgensen at this moment drew 
a pin from a Mills bomb and pinned 
the papers to:- to be continued.

Cream and Peaches once a week; 
Staf kisses his girl on the left hand cheek. 
Apples green and apples dried; 
Pearse kisses his on the other side. 
Carne thinks it would be up to date 
To meet your girl beside the gate 
Stand her on her pink toetips 
And kiss her squarely on the lips. 
Catherwood likes 'em young and coy 
Teach 'em to say "You're a pretty boy" 
Samuel the captain, who knows his biz 
Said to the Colonel "what I mean to say is":- 
"The style of a digger, is the way for mine, 
'Take any girl at any old time 
'Eyes to eyes and nose to nose, 
'Flipity Flop, and away she goes."

T.G.P.

Hand drawn picture - see original document

Who's Which 

in the 6^th

Drum Major 
Guest. 
Perhaps you 
may have 
noticed that 
the "Villiage 
Band" has 
been getting 
a good deal 
of attention 
in our columns, 
Well! They 
deserve it. 
Even if they 
only play we 
we 
pass 
through 
a villiage, they 
play pretty well. 
When I was a 
child I often asked 
my Dad why he 
wasn't something 
important:- like 
a policeman or 
a drum major, 
the latter especially 
took my fancy and 
I would follow the 
soldiers for miles 
just to feast my eyes on 
the gorgeous spectacle of the 
drum major. The Colonel 
was as naught to me, the 
Adjutant was of no account, 
the Sergeant Majors took 
my fancy by their importance 
and power but the height of 
my ambition was to be the 
wonderful person in frort 
of the band. He was indeed 
a god to me:- when I was 
a child.

Bohain

21/11/13 

Ce Ne Fai

[*12-60*]

— OUR POET'S CORNER — 

 The M.O.

I

I am a great practitioner - I state it with humility 
I exercise my talents to the best of my ability 
I specialise in every art, which makes our calling glorious 
My aspirins are world-renowned – my number nines notorious 
I take battalion sick parade each morning (incidentally 
Before I look at any case, I "shun" them regimentally) 
My dignity thus satisfied, I enter my confessional 
And there I wait in readiness, for duties more professional.

 II 

The woful tales, the diggers tell, with tireless fecundity 
I listen to attentively, and study with profundity 
I laugh to hear these fictions, and I soon expose their crudity 
By examining the authors is a state of semi – nudity 
But should a man show symptoms of diseases which are serious 
I mark his ticket P.U.O., to make it look mysterious 
He takes a pill or so for luck, (my methods are empirical) 
And off he goes to Ambulance, proclaiming me a miracle

III 

And then the leave men come along, with ailments less reputable 
I see them in a privy place, whatever time is suitable 
And having heard their statements, with a due amount of gravity 
I give them each a lecturette, on feminine depravity 
I send them to recover at a famous Sanatorium 
Where their pay-books are amended, just to keep it in memoriam 
To all the rest, I issue out, some laxatives and purgatives 
And so dismiss the whole parade, with merited objurgatives

Bohain 

"Ce Ne Fait Rien" 

21-11-18

Published by the 6^th

ON DIT

They say that a certain officer 
camp a gutzer when he took 
his greatcoat off on parade a 
few days ago. 

that:- he sent a mounted orderly 
off at the tout to get his Sam 
Browne.

that:- A Company put on a boster 
concert last Wednesday.

that:- in 1999 someone may get up 
a better one, but not before.

that:- the Padre chantez bon, eh!

that:- that story was a bit warm.

that:- the Y.M.C.A. was crowded but 
we saw only one Ernest Christesin 

that:- the Adjutant on Arizona may 
be a fine sight, 
but, if he will 
race it, he'll be 
a back sight.

that:- Tiny is back 
and someone 
bounced a bullet 
on his bean.

that:- this time 
he had 2 up 
and spurs, last 
time he was a 
major.
Hand drawn picture - see original document
Buntings

Bon Bint 
from
Bohain                               

Ballalion Beauties  

Perhaps 
Poetry

A boshter bouncing bunch of bonnie Bints, 
In balmy Bohain bring the boys a bit 
Of bread or bun or broadcast throw a hint 
And blushingly behave and never quit, 
When diggers dine in downstairs drawing rooms 
And drink a drop of Vin or "extra dry"; 
Dreamy and droll a ditty then she croons; 
The digger drinks and winks the other eye.

Genial Gentlemen 
Going to Germany

Hand drawn picture - see original document

[*12-61*]

Lieut. Trotter M.M 
is really one of the most 
handsome officers in 
the A.I.F. as you can see 
by the picture at the top, 
The lower illustration 
is of the same gallant 
galoot but was taken 
while he was pronouncing 
one of those German 
words, in which tongue 
he is a past master. 
Lt Trotter was once a 
digger and an Esses 
Beer in the Battalion, 
in this capacity he won 
distinction and as an 
officer he is some 
punkins.