Ca Ne Fait Rien - Part 8
Published in the
Field by the 6th Bn.
every Friday (sometimes)
Ca Ne Fait Rien
26-7-1918
Racquinghem
[*12-22*]
Drawing - See Attached
Sporting
World
The best of people
were to be seen
on the cricket
grounds during
the 2nd Bde, matches
The 6th Bn. as
usual has beaten
all commers.
Most sports will
agree that the
present team is
one of the best
we have produced
There
was some
good
Fielding
by the 6th
in the 2nd
innings
A batsman
from the
Pioneer Bn.
with a
little bit of
style
One of the
best of people takes
an interest in the
game
Even the
best of
players
make
a
duck!
occasionally
An 8th Bn.
bowler of
some purpose
SWIMMING
Drawing - See Original
A full
account
of the
water
carnival
will be
found on
page 180
of next
weeks issue
of
Ca Ne Fait
Rien
order your
copy
now
Drawing - See Original
Visitor to "Aussie" aprés le guerre :- "I say
my good man! what is that large and
handsome building?
The John Hop:- "why! when the trophies
the Sixth battalion captured at Strazeele
were sent here, they couldn't get 'em all
into the war museum, so they built
this place to hold the rest.
WAR NEWS
Drawing - See Original
German Official. Rooters
via barbed wire press
On the On dit Front,
Army of the Cronk Prince
our gallant troops gained
a further victory by
a swift abouturn, we
have gained fresh
ground 5 miles in the
rear, successfully leaving a
few hundred cannon and several
thousand men in French hands.
Army of Prince One Bellow:-
Hostile artillery increased to drumfire
and blew out 2 of our drums.
Our patrols in numerous encounters
located several estaminets.
Our intrepid airmen still retain
complete mastery of the air and
fly continually over the enemy lines
(afterdark).
We brought down out of control
17 butterflies and a wasp.
Our Short Story
"."
the end
Battalion Beauties
Drawing - See Original
Dyson's
donah
Doreen
from
Devon
While C.Q.M.S. Dyson was at the
T.B. he undoubtedly devoted a
lot of his time to duty, such as
musketry instruction, but we
have reason to believe that
Doreen desired Dyson to drop duty,
Dyson dropped drill directly.
They Say
that:- Lieut.
Archer's Platoon
is to be equipped
with bows and
arrows.
that:- Lt. Fisher
got several bites last night
that:- the diggers put it
all over the officers at
the cricket match, Wednesday
evening.
that:- the diggers had 651 men fielding.
that:- Lieut. Samuel wouldn't go out when
he was caught in slips.
that: Johansen, Pompy Bruin and Russell
could play any team from the 2nd Bde. on their own.
that:- you can smell the Blanco and Brasso
used by A Company in Hazebrouck.
that:- "Blue" Farrell is not going to a school.
that:- it is a lucky thing for the German
army that Capt. Carne didn't tell Farrell
to bring in 2,000,000 prisoners.
that:- R.S.M., Mahoney doesn't like to be
mentioned in this paper
that:- We will write the story of his
life for next weeks issue.
Who's which in the Sixth
JINKS
Drawing - See Original
L/Cpl.
Ivor Jenkins
served on the
Peninsula and got
a "Blighty" there.
Became Battalion
storeman when
the late
Cpl Erfurth
gave up
that job.
Jinks is
now
A.C.Q.M.S
for H.Q's
details
Drawing - See Original
Lieut. R. Pollard
Promoted from the ranks,
was Tock-O for some months.
he had 2 horses wounded
under him during the strafe
in the Strazeele sector and
finally got 3 splinters of
shell in his right lung,
the M.O's said he couldn't live
till morning but the last news
I had from him, he was going
into London to keep a date
with a little bit of fluff.
Sometimes
Published every Friday
Ca Ne Fait Rien
6th Bn A.I.F
Somewhere in the Field
Circulation more than plum and apple jam
[*12-23*]
The EDITOR'S DUGOUT
Our intelligent readers
and all our leaders are comme ca
will have noticed a great
falling off in the quality of
the matters published during
the past three weeks, while
the Editor was on fatigue.
It is red hot that they dont
give me, I mean him, a stripe
so that he would not need
to have to open doors of
estaminets & talk to madamoselles.
etc. Of course the sketches, verse
and reading matter were up to
standard but the way the
name was printed at the top
was to say the least of it, rotten.
Look at the name this time
If a man wasn't well trained
it would take 3/4 of an hour
to do one like that. It's a
gift, just like being able to
read our Battn Orders.
To cut a long story short
a distinct improvement
will now be notice in
the Ca Ne Fait Rien
Some of the Aussies are
always getting into trouble
One got leave the other
day to go to Nice and
while there he went to
Mote Carlo and broke
the Bank. It's no wonder
so many of them have a
hard job to borrow half
a dollar in the Strand
A motor lorry ran over
the foot of one of our readers
recently. The other foot is
however quite good and
he should be able
to hop on fatigue.
DINKUM WAR NEWS
Just because there is a
joke in this paper sometimes
dont get the idea into your
nut that the war news is
a joke too. As Lloyd George
remarked the other day in the
House of Lords "What 'Ca Ne Fait
Rein" publishes today, our
English papers publish months
afterwards" I got some news
tonight from a bloke I met
who couldn't get any Kiwi at
the canteen. He told me that
the japs had crossed Liberia
and were now having four
days disembarkation leave
in the Ural Mountains. A
lot of Russians have joined
them but will not be much
use as none of them would
sign on, for more than
eighteen years service. The
Boshevics are getting into
trouble with Fritz since it
was discovered that some of
them had two pay books
A DOCTOR WINS THE M.C.
A hospital ship was crossing
the channel with a big load
of patients from France, who
were suffering from sunstroke.
Half way across they were
stopped by a U boat. The
doctor either from force of habit
or presence of mind, threw
the whole available supply of
number nines down the
periscope. They had the
usual effect and the submarine
made off at top speed.
The communique which stated
that the Portugese have started
an offensive is not true. The
press Bureau states that the
man's rifle went off by mistake
LIBELS or OTHERWISE
Is it true that Sgt Hodges
is more attracted by Liverpool
than Paris or any other nice
place for leave?
An Inspecting Officer has
reported that "some horrible
sights were observed in this
area" This is rather personal
some of the men in the Battn
can't help their faces can they?
The only dugout 32 feet
deep near Hill 60 is at
present occupied so the Padre
will not be able to open a
Coffee Stall there for some time.
when did the lady tell
Cpl Norris that her little
girl was five years old?
Did the Sgt who recently
lost £2-2. have value
for his money?
Did Mr Demaine have a
unique experience in Paree?
A party will shortly
produce the "Merchant of Venice"
for the entertainment of the
Battn. The Quartermaster
however informs me that
the rations will not
allow shylock to have his
'pound of flesh'.
Is Dinny an authority
on the habits of snakes?
Has anyone notice the
intelligent look of the
men just back from leave?
It will be noticed that
the new service stipes
are very small, but the
size will be reduced further
if before the war finishes
they reach from the wrist
to the shoulder strap.
Battalion Beauties
Drawing - See Original
Mut Barker's mash
in Paris
Biddy of the
Canteen loves this
Serial Story
Chapter 13 or 14 I forgot which.
The parrots and mopokes
whistled silently in the hedges.
nothing disturbed the calmness
of the evening except a barrage
and an egg laying competition
Yuonne sat on the ship sails
waiting for her Aussie, but as
Billy Hughes says "Satan always
finds some work for the poor
private to do" The girl from
the shop where they sell the
postcards also loved the brave
Anzac so disguising herself
as a canteen she lured
To Be Continued
A strange sight was witnessed
at the fumigation yesterday.
Two of the blankets were observed
to be walking stealthily towards
some dugouts in the distance
Of course they belonged to B Coy.
Two blankets from D Coy
were immediately sent after
them and after a brief
struggle soon got the evaders
under their thumb and so
ended the career of bloodshed
Published
in the field
by the 6th Bn.
Ca Ne Fait Rien
29-7-18
Racquinghem
[*12-24*]
2nd Bde. Swimming Carnival
All the world's records for
speed and endurance were
broken.
Drawing - See Original
A couple of
tall, stalwart
sunkissed
Anzacs
The Quack
Emma
and
the
Ack
Ack
That loose
springboard rather
put the acid on the fancy diving
Drawing - See Original
The diggers
in fancy
dress did
their share
in making
the day
a
success
Let's
have
more
of 'em
next
time.
The
Brass
Hats
Drawing - See Original
The Heads all turned up to see
those awfully topping
"Aussies"
actually out of
the line, don't cher know.
Drawing - See Original
Everyone was please to
see the nurses at the carnival
but as a digger told me they
only talk to the officers.
He wishes to suggest to the
Heads that next time a few hundred
WAAC's be asked to the sprots.
POETS Corner
We started with 50 odd
non coms and men,
We started with 50 and now
we've got 10.
So if this ruddy was dosn't
end very soon
There'll be nobody left in
the ruddy platoon
We're told that we're going
to have a short rest
Soon leaving the trenches at
the C.O's behest
We carry a trophy under
each arm :-
A cannon, a minnie or
pig from the farm
The salving of pigs we are
often told, that :-
Comes in very hand for
saving up fat.
Now the saving of dripping
and paper and lace.
Will save from destruction
the whole British race
And when we're not saving
we're cleaning with Blanco
And polishing rifles and buttons
with gusto.
We get up each morning
before the sun rises
And fall-in in sections
in our proper sizes.
Then we are dismissed when
the sun goeth down
And passes are given to go
into Town
To about 2 per cent of the
strength of the [?]
That's why of the 50 odd
no coms and men
ETC.
Drawing - See Original
Of course
it rained
for the
Company
Event, but
in spite of
the weather
"A" Company
turned out well
up to 6th Battalion
standard and
one would have
to go a long way
to find a smarter
looking body
of men,
at the same
time we would
like to suggest
that a costume
like that shown
in No2 would
be more suitable
for Flanders
Weather.
Who's Which
in the 6th
Drawing - See Original
R.S.M Peter Mahoney
(pronounced Marn-eee)
The gallant sar'n-major was
born at a very early age
in the little country village
of Bally slush gutherie
The little lad had only one
mother and at the age of
three entered the army
He served in India, Ondia
Condia and Canteendia. At the
outbreak of the present Great War
Pether was on too the job like a
quarter master sergeants offsider on to the best
cuts of meat. During the fighting on Gallipoli
our hero was C.S.M. of A company and while
telling the company that the Jacko Shrapnel
wouldn't hurt, he got a pellet in the leg (I don't
know if he changed his opinion)
He has been a soldier so long that
he knows more tricks than the
rest of the battalion put togeather.
Drawing - See Original
Those sun-kissed Anzacs :-
A real bronzed "Aussie" possesses
an irresistable attraction for the ladies
Now did you ever notice the complexion
of our company cooks, once would hardly
say they were sun-kissed but they
have evidently been
kissed by something
and it's some complexion
[*Goo
19/7/18*]
THEY SAY
that:- We are going into the line to give
the Guards a rest and besides they have
used up all the Brasso in France.
that:- the transport sergeant tried to ride
the mule
that:- he now reckons you can't ride Mules
that:- after he was thrown the mule trod
on his face and kicked him in the eye.
that:- it wouldn't hurt Jeff's face anyway.
that:- a certain padre seldom gets to his billet
before 2 Ack Emma.
that:- a certain R.S.M. won't 'arf bite when he sees this issue
that:- Ca Ne Fait Rien wasn't published for a few weeks and
the Huns heard about it and thought they were winning
that:- Fritz has the wind up because the 6th are
moving up
that:- he has good reason to be windy.
Ca Ne Fait Rien 18-8-18
Hamelet 6th Bn. A.I.F
Published in the
field every Friday
(sometimes)
[*12-25*]
Drawing - See Original
Fritz is still wondering whether
the World fell on him or only a
passing cyclone, of cource it wasn't
the Allies, he knocked them out some
time ago
Purely Poetry
Oh! vos iss das, vot seems to some und hit me
such a kick?
Und schpoill dis lofely game of var 'ust ven I
vin der trick,
Perhaps ten tons of dynamite vos under me
go bang,
Or fifty tons of bricks fall down und hit me
such a whang,
Yust like it vos ven I am home und gome
in mit a souse
Der frau, she grab me by der neck und throw
me out der house.
Der Allies couldn't do it co's I've licked dem
to a frazzle,
Und der brilliance of mine victories der whole
vorld seems to dazzle.
So now to all der bapers dis story vill I
write
Ve oggupy a brand new line und vin anoder
fight
By suddenly retiring ven der Allies varen't
watching
Ve lost some thirty thousand men by Foch's
little foching.
(Herr Otter Vos Schusselheimer)
after the fury and excitement fo the battle, comes
the sad task of counting our dead, sad for us
not the those gallant ones who have gone
ahead, the advance party. We grieve over the
loss of splendid friends and brave comrades
we do not mourn for them. To die a man's
death fighting for country and liberty is reward
enough for the true hearted. They live with
us and their deeds will never be forgotten by
their comrades.
Drawing - See Original
Battalion
Beauties
Bridges
Bird
Our Short Story
One happy Hun,
One little gun,
Some Combination,
Great conflagration.
To own the Earth
His right by birth.
He kicks and hits.
We don't like Fritz.
So all togeather
We'll show him whether
We like his plan
The Allamand.
ON DIT
They say that:- Fritz is the most
surprised person in Europe.
that:- if it hadn't been for the left flank
we'd have been going yet
that:- C Company lose more grenade cups
than the rest of the A.I.F.
that:- they can't eat 'em, whal th' 'ell do
they do with 'em
that:- when the Transport section found
they had to camp by the
river, they said "Ain't we
stiff, now we'll have to
wash the — limbers and
oil 'em".
that:- they guessed right.
that:- the regimental tailors
are pretty busy, sewing on extra
cheverons
that:- a lot of N.C.O's will get
kinks in their necks through looking
at 'em.
that:- R.S.M. Mahoney got himself
evacuated so this paper couldn't get
another picture of him.
that:- Cowling can take longer to clean a
pair of stirrup irons than the duration
of the war
that:- the Sergt. Cooks are overworked.
that:- the Padre was O.C., Chows for one
day only.
that:- there are only 4 more packets of
cigarettes left in the world
that:- there are none left on the Somme.
Who's Which
in the
6th
Drawing - See Original
No, this is not the last
man and last shilling :-
it is Lieut. Bristow M.C.
who for the past few days
has been giving his idea of
"Every picture tells a story"
Lt. Bristow like all great men
was once a ranker in A Coy.
He once met a bloke wot
owned a cab horse, hence
his appointment to Transport
Officer.
Drawing - See Original
Pte.
Cohen
one of
the
shining
lights
of the
6th Bn.
is a direct
decendent of
the old Irish
king Shamus O'Cohen, Our
hero can always be found
not further than 10 feet
away from Capt. Johnson.
CA NE FAIT RIEN
By the 6th Aust. Bn.
Published
in the field
4-9-18
near
HAMEL
[*12-26*]
Drawing - See Original
Visitor in Aussie :- "pardon me, but can
you tell me what that tremendous
great big building is"?
the Aussie :- "Yes, it's this way, the
War Museum they built wouldn't
hold all the 6th Bn. trophies, so they
built an Annex, then after the 23rd
of August stunt, they built this place
as an Annex to the Annex to hold all
the trophies the 6th captured then."
Visitor :- "And what is that tiny little
place across the street."
Aussie :- Oh, that's where we're goin'
to billet the 6th when they come
back.
Potted Poems
There is a land where skies are fair
And bonza flowers grow everywhere,
The fields are green, the birds are gay
The air smells sweet with new mown hay
It's the rottenest country I have seen;
They've got no beer in the 6th canteen.
If this here war was always fought
In the way that all wars surely ought,
With big guns firing melted butter
And only once a year a flutter
It 'ud be the worst war there has been
With no beer in the 6th canteen
If sergeant majors got the shunt
And there was no such this as an
adjutant,
And all parades were cut right out
If rations would keep us plump and
stout
A soldier's life would be happy, I wean,
If they only had bee in the 6th Canteen.
Drawing - See Original
Battalion Beauties
When
Stevo was
a common
private, his
idea of female
beauty was as
per Fig. 1.
since his promotion
to C.Q.M.S he
will be satisfied with nothing short of
a duchess.
ON DIT
They say that a certain officer has
overstayed his leave but smithy
does'nt care.
that:- there are only 2 men in the Bn.
who havn't got Fritz watches, they
sent their's home.
that:- the pioneers want to know
what all the hobos do round the
officers Mess.
that:- the Quartermaster is a nark.
that:- all the boys are learning how to
say "Voulez vous promenarde avec moi"
in German.
that:- if Fritz doesn't put up a
better fight we'll soon be using the
damn pots in Potsdam.
that:- Stewart is one of the most polite
canteen men in France, peut etre.
that:- we can capture more Boche
machine guns in 6 weeks than he can
make in 6 months
OUR SHORT STORY
Horrible Hun, avec gun. Aussie fun,
makes him run. Bon soir. Brave Armee,
Bonza war! you're balmy. Going
home soon :- yes home in June
What, June next
year? no
blurry
fear.
Who's which in the
6th
Drawing - See Original
Lieut.
N. TUTTON
M.C.
one of
the
old
boys
he served
on the
penninsula
as a C.S.M
with much
gusto, where he
won his M.C.
got his com. in
France and is known
throughout the A.I.F.
Drawing - See Original
GERTIE
as he looks
when
batting for
the Padre.
And
how he
shows up when
the boss is on Paris leave
and he has
a chance
to kill Huns.
I also heard that his
language was a credit
to the battalion.
Drawing - See Original
CA NE FAIT RIEN
13-9-1918
BUIRE
Published in the field by the 6th Bn. A.I.F
Every Friday :- sometimes
[*12-27*]
Drawing - See Original
THE
PIONEERS
When some of the lads
in Aussie "joined up" they
found much to their
dismay that instead of
getting a "dinkum stouch
at the horrible Hun they
would have to serve their
country as Pioneers.
We recognise the fact
that the Pioneer Battalion
is a very excellent unit
but when a chance
came to transfer to a
fighting body, they all
jumped at it.
Many of them came
to the 6th; they are
fortunate. With that
modesty which is
characteristic of all
our statements
we will
not say that the
6th Australian Battalion is the finest body
of men the World has seen, but we do say that:- if anyone has a
finer, we would like to see it. The Pioneers who came to us
looked well up to standard and we feel sure they will act up
to the traditions of the fighting sixth. Everybodys pleased but "Jerry".
POEMS PEUT ETRE
I never saw old Kaiser Bill, I do not wish to see him
But I can tell you anyhow I'd sooner see than be him.
For very soon on German Soil our feel we'll all be setting?
And then we'll take this Prussian king (now let me know the betting)
Out to the Zoo, among the skunks, or tied up with the tigers
Or make him walk five thousand mile in boots that're several sizes
Too small for him. Or let me see! perhaps we'll only hang him,
I've got a grudge against the cow, he started war, so damn him.
ON DIT
They say that:- you can go and ask Larry
for your mail at any time and he
looks pleased about it.
that:- Larry has got his ticket for Aussie
and that may have something to do
with it.
that:- the cooking should be good soon,
Jack Cross is going to Australia.
that:- Reg Goble anxiously scanned the
list for his name.
that:- Fritz is making himself disliked
with his rubber guns.
that:- Jerry didn't know we were
going to take over that Field
Bakery or he would have had it
freshly painted (or put a bomb in it).
that:- the lads from the Pioneers are
good enough for any battalion
that:- Lieutenants Samuel, Abson and
Israel are going to run a business
togeather after the war.
that:- it won't be a fried fish shop.
that:- some people in the battalion
won't let anyone see their mail.
that:- there's a reason
Battalion Beauties
The Pay Sergeants
Pearl
Drawing - See Original
Our
Short Story
Clare's Canteen
Career
or Running the Rabbit.
Heroine, Bonza, fine,
Eyes of blue, always do
Story start with a tart.
Villian now, low born cow
Roman nose, best dress clothes
Waxed mostache, cuts a dash
He's an earl, tells the girl.
She's no mug, no blue blood
In the gink, I don't think.
Castle haunted, Hero wanted
Plot so breezy, story's easy
Who's Which in the 6th
Lt. W. Pearse
Drawing - See Original
was a bit of
a rough machine
Gun Officer
with the Bn.
Got one in
the leg in
the Hazebrouik
Sector and
made quite a
hit with the
London Lassies.
He looked quite the
HERO with his hospital
blue and a stick
Drawing - See Original
LT. Tully
as I.O.
usually
looks
more
worried
than
this
But
he has
just got
a letter
from the
bint.
He
also
is just
back
from
Blighty
EDITORIAL
Hundred Horrid Huns in the British
Busted Banks is the war cry of our
contemptable contempory "Bon Jull"
We accuse Boratio Hottomley of trifling
avec the truth. Produce these men,
Boratio! Let's see 'em.
Replies to Soldiers Letters
Jambuck: why not marry the girl?. F.J.S. The
answer's eleven. Hotstuff. Yes a private can
get an officer's pay; when the officer's asleep.
J.C.P.; She's a daughter of the Earl of Yarborough
Tired; Well why don't you finish the war.
Larry; No, not in these trousers.
Ed.
CE NE FAIT RIEN
ADVERTISING SECTION
[*12-28*]
Write now for our FREE booklet.
on
story writing.
Learn to write beautiful stories
like "Battalion Routine Orders"
Parts I and II
"The Wives of an Anzac"
"A day in the stenches" and other
works of one of our former pupils
Read what he says:-
"Dear Sirs"
33 years ago I was unable
to write a line, now I can get into
the line without the slightest
trouble.
Yours to a cinder
Constant Leadswinger
Send us a stamped envelope and
enclose 57 Francs and we will
send by return mail our
FREE booklet, entitled
"FICTION, or 20 Years on the Daily Wail"
Ce Ne Fait Rien, Correspondence School
No9, Sick Parade
Nocourt-sur-Nix
Drawing - See Original
DRAW THIS
And send the
result to us,
we will tell you
if you are fit
to draw your pay.
War On, Hop Out, Soon Duck and
many other privates in the Chinese
Labour Corps have studied under
our system.
Read what a famous General says
about it:-
"Dear Sirs
Before I studied your methods
I was a maid of all work, I am now
a general"
Yours in sincerely
Mary Jane Higgs"
G.O.C.
(General Office Cleaner)
The CE NE Fait RIEN School
of SKETCHING.
77 Jimdoxey Street,
Nowinaussie.
LOCAL CORRESPONDENTS
WANTED
in every Company we want
smart intelligent men to send
local news to "Ce Ne Fait Rien".
GET BUSY, this is your chance
to become famous. Write at
once to the Editor for particulars
Q.A. RTERMASTER & CO
DEALERS IN
Old clothes, Second hand
Guns, Empty Tins and
WASTE PAPER.
Bring along your old suit
and get a nice new one
at less than cost price.
WE PAY
the highest price for fat.
"Save your bacon"
and get out of the war
CITY ADDRESS No1, Always,
Inthefield.
CA NE FAIT RIEN
MONTIGNY FARM
18-SEP. 1918
Published in the Field by the 6th Aust. Bn
Every Friday (sometimes)
[*12-29*]
Drawing - See Original
Cripes!
another
hop-over in
the morning
with will
be my 199th
wasn't I a mug
to
enlist
in 1914.
If a bloke
could only
get one
more look
at the old
wattles
Etc.
Drawing - See Original
Help!
Whats this!!
Pte. Earlycomer
will report
at orderly
room at
7.30 ack
emma to
proceed
to Australia
Ack Ack Ack
Drawing - See Original
'ooray
best bon
war I've
ever
seen
what!
Bill you
goin' to. Won't
there be somethin'
doin'
in the
old
town
Drawing - See Original
I'm goin' to
dig in a 'undred
feet, none o'
Jerry's
bombs will
get me
Tonight.
Drawing - See Original
Here it is
4 o'clock already
and I've got to move
off at 7.30
Yer won't catch
me late for this
parade
Drawing - See Original
And read
it in the
papers
every day
ON DIT
They say that:- since the 1st Div. went over the
bags this A.M. "Jerries" have been streaming
to our rear, like a Flemmington crowd after
cup day.
that:- another batch of 324 just went down the
road and they all seem pleased to be on
this side of the line.
that:- if that bomb had gone off, the Padre would
be in H— by now.
that:- when you see this (H–) it means Heaven.
that:- if S—rs was entitled to go back to Aussie,
then - but I'll leave it to you.
that:- now that the issue of bacon has been cut
down; we'll have to Rack ham to make it go
round.
that:- a Fritzer 'plane just tried to down one of
our baloons and came a
gutzer :-"'ooray"
that: when Dinny got to
Italy he at 14lbs of
spaghetti at one sitting.
that:- when he first saw
it, he fastened a 'phone
to one end, thought it
was a cable.
that:- you can hunt for
Sergt. Hunt since the
draught left for Aussie.
that:- I wish you had to
hunt for the Q.M.
Drawing - See Original
Our Short Story
Quite early this morning.
We went for a spin
Over the bags, towards Old
St. Quentin.
Now Jerry Von Holstien was
taking a nap,
An Aussie awoke him
'an sez "look here.ole chap
I've twenty four Fritzes
outside in a row
As soon as you join 'em
Why! off we must go
There's a guard of one
digger who's armed with
a pipe
He'll march ye all back
just as quiet as ye like."
So remember when Aussies
go over at dawn
There's fraulines in Fritzland
their Fritzies will morn.
Now stories like this are getting so common
When diggers are fighting and shooting and bombing,
That the sooner I quit the more pleased you will be
And if you don't like it:- that wo'nt worry me.
BATTALION
BEAUTIES
Drawing - See Original
Bidwell's Birdie
WHO'S WHICH
IN THE SIXTH
Drawing - See Original
The envy of the 2nd Bde,
Guards is the smart hats
of the 6th Bn. While
we have Pompy Bruhn
with us, the 5th may
follow but never equal as.
Pompy is also one of our
foremost cricketers and
is equally good with the
bat, ball or in the field.
GREEN ROOM GOSSIP
Lyric:-Lillians Lost Lollie
The Empire:- The canteen beer,
and other feats of mystery
and magic
His Majesties -"Glitter of the
Guards" or who put Brasso
in the tea.
The Royal:-"Saving a Soldier's
Life" or a job on the Q.M's
staff.
POETS CORNER
What heaps of luck, this week we have
There's hardly room to write a stave,
Of course with music staves are used
But words to rhyme are off abused,
The poetry we print is rotten,
The only rhyme for that is cotton
You see the trouble poets meet
Some other job I think I'll seek.
Ce Ne Fait Rien
27-9-18
Published in the Field every Friday (sometimes)
by the 6th Aust. Inf. Bn.
Ailly Le Haut Clocher
[*12-30*]
Drawing - See Original
I'll tell you the tale of a Number Nine
And the tale of an Omelette too :-
The Sixth were just going into the line
As the Sixth always pleasantly do!!
The Omelette was Private OEufington
And the other a nine point two.
Our Doc. was wending his way to the Mess
He'd finished inspecting our feet
He was feeling quite famished, changing his dress
So thought he'd have something to eat.
He suddenly jumped and said "Sure! I guess
"That's a shell;
do a guy tout suite
The soup for the subaltern sitting inside
Was carried by OEufington, he
Did a duck down the duckboards, dashing beside
The Mess, and then past a tree
Straight through the Doc's legs which he pushed out quite wide;
Good going; I think you'll agree.
Our Serial Story
Chapter XVIIII
Mildred's Mishaps
or the
Maidens Makeshift.
"So"! woman, you defy muh" hissed Horace Hanchovie.
Mildred interrupted in her quiet game of two up, at once
siezed a box of No36's and ripping open the lid, grabbed
a handful of loose detonators which she placed between
her ruby lips. "Touch me and I bite 'em "she cried.
The villian thus foiled turned away, picking his false
teeth with his 18 inch dagger. Mildred picked up the
crumpled piece of paper he had carelessly dropped
and crossing to the window, she at once saw that it
was an enemy code message or else a laundry ticket.
A succession of loud bangs on the front verandah attracted her
attention. The villian was trying to destroy the quiet cottage with a
batters of 5.9's. Our heroine strolled over to the mirror and placed
on her golden head, her little tin hat: trimmed with kangaroo plumes :-
to be continued
ON DIT
They say that a lot of men are still giddy from the
effects of that express train trip.
that:- the engine driver has had much past
experience as a driver (cattle driver)
that:- even Wheels, who pretends to repair our
watches, could have driven that train faster.
that:- We've got our francs on the Yanks with the
Tanks, We'll see Fritz do a flit when they
hit
that:- What's-his-name in Who's it's company got
the wind up when Jerry tried to bomb
our train the other night.
that:- We will be here for some
time.
that:- all the hardheads have
decided where to
spend their evenings
that:- even Gertie
has a nice little
maraine.
that:- We wish we
had too.
Drawing - See Original
Battalion
Beauties.
despite
the fact
that
"Mines
are:
floating
in the
fairway"
a certain
O.C. Comapny
doesn't care as long as
"Roses are blooming in
Picardy" and we hear
that he has already discovered
one that blooms in Ailly
R.A.F. REPORTS
Yesterday our intrepid's shot down
53000 enemy machines and put the
wind up a sausage. none of our
planes are missing.
Enemy night flying machines came
down in a blaze of glory and coloured
flares
We dropped 1800 tons of bombs on enemy
fat saving experts, the fat is in the
fire.
Who's Which in the
Sixth
Drawing - See Original
Lieut's Potter
and Trotter
of course I don't intend to
say which sketch is supposed
to be who, but you can take
your choice and if you're not
satisfied with mine, well do
your own sketching, at any
rate you will agree with
me when I say that
there are no two finer
subs in this or any
other battalion, A long
and brilliant career
to 'em.
Answers to Soldiers letters
Lance Jack; Yes, nows the time to get a stripe.
Romeo; No, I don't think it would come off,
the Padre saw her first.
Sore feet; Place a dud 9.2 on a slow fire
and rest the feet on top for about 2 hours,
this remedy will also remove corns.
Scribe; Poems not suitable. Why! they are
worse than mine.
Nervous; No, don't swing the lead, get a job
with the Quartermaster.
R.U.M.; Always say Captain S— and give
him at least 3 salutes
Possibly Poetry
What beautious sight is this that greets my gaze
That glorifies my nights and cheers my days;
The rich bright amber of an Autumn Sun,
The white and fleecy clouds as day is done.
Emeshed within a prison without bars
With walls of glass, like ancient Omar's Jars:
Let he who will, have horses, keep his hack,
For me a few odd frankers and a zack
Enough to buy a few more pots of beer
Rich amber, cloudy foam, and sparkling clear.
[*12-31*]
LEARN TO
DRAW
Copy
this
Drawing - See Original
Why be a digger all
your life? when you
can earn big money
drawing for the Sydney
Bulletin, "Ce Ne Fait Rien"
The Melbourne Age,
John Bull and other
Humourous Publications.
Draw the above sketch
once every 2 weeks
and send it along to
us for our free criticism.
"Ce Ne fait Rien
School of Drarin"
Nosuch St., Inthefieldville
Get this into your Nut.
Yes,
This means you.
Now, listen Bud! I'm going to
have a heart to heart talk with
you. Is "Ce Ne Fait Rein" as
good as it should be?, no;
Well! why isn't it? I'll answer
that myself; it's because most of
you "guys" (I got that word when the Yanks
relieved us) don't send contributions
to the paper. Anything funny ever
take place in your company? Let's hear
about it. Do you ever hear a
bloke pull a good gag? send it to us.
Can you draw? send in a sketch
If you write poetry, give "Ce ne Fait Rien"
a sample. But for the love of Mike
make your poems short.
Now, Buddie! just write it down, mark
the outside Q.M. or Ce Ne Fait Rien and
leave it at the Q.M.s store or Orderly Room.
Don't send your opinion of the Sergt. We know that.
Be An Author.
Learn to write stories.
It's like taking candy from a kid.
Our correspondence course will
teach you to write as good as
the serial stories in The Bn.
Paper or equal to those the
boys tell the Quartermaster
about how they lost their
Iron Rations. Why be a gink
when there's easy money in
every Editors' pocket.
Why carry your trophies on
a route march? when by
sending them to us, they
will to the the "Australian
War Museum" and be
exhibited for everyone ot
see IN AUSSIE. Put on
your name and home town
and send 'em in.
Sean LillywhiteThis transcription item is now locked to you for editing. To release the lock either Save your changes or Cancel.
This lock will be automatically released after 60 minutes of inactivity.