Ca Ne Fait Rien - Part 7
Published in the field
Every Friday (sometimes)
Cą Ne Fait Rien
29-3-18 6th. Aust. Inf. Bn.
[*12-12*]
The Leaning Virgin
By a 6th Bn. Poet.
We marched out from the village where we'd rested for awhile
Out on the road to Albert, along for many a mile
Each day held fresh adventure, and we in martial mood,
^Marched Down upon the city where the "Leaning Virgin" stood.
Our souls were filled with anger as we viewed the statue fair
And the wreck of the cathedral, about us everywhere:
The sun shone out in glory and the statue gleamed like gold,
And we seemed just as crusaders, in the days of old.
They seemed as living beings - The Virgin and her Child, -
Crushed but transcendant, stood they there, above the ruins piled;
As though great grief had struck them down, in sorrow's attitude
And tears unseen seemed falling as of helpless, woeful mood.
From that high-towering pinnacle they looked upon the
ground
Where oft the thoughtful soldiers stood in reverence profound, -
A mute appeal for sympathy to every human heart.
So made we answer back again, "We've come to do our part.
They stand for faith and piety - The Virgin and her Child,
They stand for justice, hope and love and all things undefiled.
They lean but fall not, nor do we; though battered, we'll
stand fast,
Since [[?Kaltur]] came to smash such things, we'll fight
unto the last.
We started with 50 odd non.coms, and men,
We started with 50 and now we've got ten
And if this ruddy war doesn't end very soon
There'll be nobody left in the ruddy platoon.
Shelby Smith
Hand drawn illustration - see original document.
Battalion Beauties
Hand drawn illustrations - see original document.
Palmer's Pansy Gaston's Girl
Advertisements
For Sale or exchange, One near Bulldog,
- Colour probably white, at present a dark
grey, Good watch dog (has numerous ticks)
will sell any price or exchange for small
piece of soap, Apply 6th bn. Cooks.
For exchange :- Two puppies, Dam pure foxy,
Sire, evidently some kind of Bulldog, get them
while they are young they won't be worth having
later. Apply Bob Jenkins, Hobo's staff.
Trench feet by correspondence. Learn how to
"Swing the Lead" the Malingerers Correspondence
School.
Learn to be an Artist.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document.
Copy this sketch and send result
to Tassel School of Art. Anyone
can learn in 1½ lessons, read what
a famous artist says about our
course :- "Dear Sirs, 15 years ago I was
only able to draw corks, since then I have joined
the A.I.F. and can draw pay once a fortnight
(signed) Goo.
Good Mechanic wanted :- one able to build and
work a tank, mend watches and aeroplanes, to
take charge of 6th Bn. typewriter, good pay to
any man who can keep it in order, bring
your own axe and steamhammer.
Personal Pars
Have you heard what Jack
Washbourne has to say about
The Hun offensive, since he
came a thud on his leave.
What do you think about
the consert the officers gave
at [[?Kimmil]] last week? -
Yes, thats how it struck me.
The diggers could do better
without a rehersal.
The sergeants gave a bit of
a rough smoke night lately,
Bill Wright told how we
held the gasometer, C.S.M.
Brent sang in a moving way,
two on three didn't go out.
Sergt. Cross sang __ well
to tell you the truth I
forget what he sang and I
don't think many others
remember, it was towards
the end of the barrel.
Who's that new Sig. Sergeant
I can't find his name on the
battalion records but I seem
to remember his face.
Why does everybody call him
Gibby?
Who stuck a pin in A company?
Why don't the Emma Gees
shoot down that Hun plane?
Hand drawn illustration - see original document.
Officers from the instructional staff
of the various schools rejoining to
take a hand in the fighting. They
are all pleased to be back with
the boys. Ask Krich?
Who is Sergt. Brennan?
I noticed in the Daily Mail that the
Guards were fighting down on t he Somme;
but as far as I know they are still at
Parret Camp.
The detention camp was shelled the
other day: As one of the prisoners
dashed round the corner, one M.P. was
heard to remark - "Where did that
one go to 'Erbert."
Have you heard the latest furphy?
Well! there's a new one out since
then.
Where does Chris get all that war news?
Is it all true?
They say there is going to be no
more fighting, the war is going
to be settled by a debate between
Reg. Hall and Rooster Morrison of
the 5th. If this is true the end
will never come.
Who's got the "little, brown boxer now?
Will the Padre get his - shot
off for going up this time?
We'll see the Q.M. close enough to
hear the shells burst, next.
Wot's he so grouchy about lately?
What's the matter with Mat? does
he expect to make more profit
with the company?
Did Cam buy some camphor and did he
tell the chemist "that's what he camphor.
"Ca Ne Fait Rien" 29-3-18
Published in the Field by the 6th Bn.
Circulation over 8 million, peut etre
The Lance Jack
When we want to get somebody to carry
out a job
That's anything but pleasant and is turned
down by the mob,
Of officers and sergeants and other dinkum
heads
And even senior corporals decline to leave
their beds
Then we shout out in the darkness and the
answer soon comes back
"If you want someone to do it, sir, We'll send
you a Lance Jack."
When the sergeant major's crusty and the
Adjutant gets gruff,
Because the company upon parade is not
quite quick enough.
Then the company commander sends for each
O.C. platoon,
Who asks for every N.C.O. to report to
him at noon,
And then he asks "who was to blame?" The reply
comes from the pack
"The man that caused the trouble, Sir, was
the blanky blank Lance Jack
Oh, well! I've only got to say "When this
here war is won
When they send us back to Aussie because
we've stoushed the Hun
And the population's cheering as we march
through Collins Street,
A lot of them civilians, who stayed home
with frozen feet.
Then the C.O. riding at the head upon his
prancing hack,
Will not be any prouder than the
over worked Lance Jack
Now when the rum's brought up tonight with
every ration sack
Its up to us to drink the health of the
underpaid Lance Jack.
Byron Brown
Editorial
Under the title of "the Leaning
Virgin" is a fine contribution from
one of our subscribers. Now I
want you to get this idea :-
We need your help, if this paper
is to have the necessary dash to
make it interesting we must have
ideas from you. Send us your
sketches, poems and personal items
address all contributions to :-
Q.M. 6th Bn.
R.Q.M.S. Noonan has returned
to Australia after several years of
active service (in England)
Mr Noonan has done valu
able work
with this paper and it's predecessors
"The Forcastle Forager", "Pyramid Piffle",
and Snipers shots. It is rumoured
that the R.W.M.S. has gone to join
the staff of our base and crawling
reptile contempories "The Bulletin"
and "Table Talk".
The officers have come a bit
of a crash, They are only permitted
to carry 35 lbs. baggage, all their
spare kit has been sent to base.
The spare gear of Capt. Pinney M.C.
was moved by 3 lorries and a tractor.
Some blighter pinched 900 francs
from last weeks pay. The paying
officer's pay book is now overdrawn
up to 1st April 1971.
The transport section has had
a victory :- Yesterday an M.P
left his horse standing for over
an hour without a rug, this is
contrary to G.R.O. 19/103672 41/13/15
The transport gabbed the moke
and put the M.P. under arrest.
Did you read
all that dope
printed in our
contempories
about our gallant
troops falling
back to prepared
positions in
accordance with
plans. We don't
say anything
about the war
this week
WAR NEWS from our
special correspondent :-
Ain't it Hell.
SERIAL STORY
Chapter XVIII The count could hold
out no longer, his nerveless fingers
released their hold on the cliff
edge, down he went, twisting and
turning into the terrible abyss.
At that moment a faint humming
was heard and in a few
minutes a small speck appeared
in the sky, it quickly grew
larger until at last we saw
that it was Lady Lizzie the
beautiful aviatrix in her
Sopworth Pup. Down, down,
down she sped until she was
only 2 feet from the bottom,
making a final loop, she slid
into a spirial, spinning, nose
dive and throwing out her
grapling irons she caught
the count by the collar,
"Saved" said the count "I thought
I was out for the count that
time" "Saved, me foot" said
Lady Lizzie "I'd a let yer
knock out yer fool brains n
the rocks, only you you owe
me 2 francs 30 sometimes that
I won from you at "banker"
last night." "I ain't got that
much wealth on me estate"
said Count Rolly. "Well! over
you go" cried Lady Liz. as she
heaved him out again.
To be continued
Hand drawn illustration - see original document.
Official War Photo :- In accordance with our
plans we retired to prepared positions, but if
we don't hustle, this will be the next.
Who's Which in the Sixth
[*12-13*]
Some
dials from
the sergeants
mess
Hand drawn illustrations - see original document.
Sketches by
Goo.
Published in the Field
Ca Ne Fait Rien.
4-4-18 6th Battalion A.I.F.
POEM.
In Praise of Me.
By the Editor.
I
Although I am a modest chap, I cannot
but confess,
The more I see of other blokes, I think
of them the less.
I do detest a foolish boast, but when
I look inside
I find innumerable traits, which call
for modest pride.
And if they had a chance like this,
I think you'll all agree,
That other chaps would boost themselves
A dam sight worse than me
II
I do not wish to boom myself, or
condescend to sham.
I simply want to tell you, what a
bonza bloke I am.
If everyone would recognize, the points
where I excel,
I would not mind admitting, they are
bonza blokes as well.
However I must speak the truth, some
envious minds there be,
Persist in thinking of themselves,
A dam sight more than me.
III
So, having thus announced my faults,
and bared my sins to view,
I only need a final verse, to see the
matter through.
And though at the beginning, you
were thinking I was mad,
You must admit, that, after all, the
finish isn't bad.
A crowning argument I bring (
(which everyone must see)
Most people would have filled this page
A dam sight worse than me
BATTALION BEAUTIES
Cross's
Colleen
Hand drawn illustration - see original document.
IN MEMORIAM.
SACRED TO THE MEMORY
OF
A RAIDING PARTY
which departed this life after
a chequered existence
on April 3rd 1917
THROUGH INSUFFICIENT NOURISHMENT
A HAPPY RELEASE
R.I.P
WAR NEWS
OFFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
Nil
Our sincere apologies are
extended to S.M. Harvey, for
the oversight, which has led
to the omission of his features,
from this weeks issue. We
recognize how incomplete this
edition is, through this blunder,
but hope to remedy the matter
next week.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document.
FARGHER'S SUNFLOWER
TOPICAL NOTES.
Owing to the necessity for
cutting down weight, an R.S.M
can no longer have so much
luggage, carried by the transport.
H'm! Robbing Peter to pay Paul.
We have often had something in
lieu of rum. We had rum in
Loo, though, the other day.
Why are Lance-Corporals so
unpopular in Parrett Camp?
What's up with Battalion records?
They're down in the dumps, of course
Why are the transport horses
looking so thin?
I suppose they miss their pollard
Harry buoys them up, thhough
Is it true that French girls
mistake our boys for camels?
Otherwise, why give them such
Loads to carry
What's wrong with Parrett Camp?
The eggs go to Battalion H.Q's
All we get, are the shells
What is the burning question, just
now?
The fate of our brass band,
perhaps.
TRENCH GEOMETRY
We shall commence with elementary
definitions of LENGTH, BREADTH,
and DEPTH, illustrated by examples.
I
LENGTH, without BREADTH or DEPTH
is illustrated by communication
trenches, after a stunt
II
LENGTH and BREADTH without DEPTH
by the latrines, so artistically constructed
by our Pioneer Sgt.
III
LENGTH, BREADTH and DEPTH (chiefly DEPTH)
by the subterranean shelters, frequented
by the prudent, in the event of any
excitement upstairs
AXIOMS
I Fritz Farmer lies equally about any
given point
II A bugler is a person of no magnitude,
who is equal to anything
III One bomb, and one only, may be
projected upon any point, from a
given plane.
IV A bee-line made may be made, from any
point on the front line, to any other
point in rear
(This exercise has been extensively practised
of late)
V The rum-issue is a quantity, which is
smaller than any other known quantity.
VI The (w)hole is greater than the shell
VII The confidence rises in inverse ratio
to the distance from the front line
VIII The Comforts Fund Battalion, and
the German Army, move in parallel
curves. That is, although prolonged
indefinitely, their orbits do not
intersect.
Published in the Field
Ca Ne Fait Rien.
All care taken but no responsibility
4-4-18
[*12-15*]
Circulation unlimited
ADVERTISEMENTS
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
FOR SALE
FINE OLD CONCRETE BUILDING
SURROUNDED BY ARTIFICIAL LAKES
GAS AND WATER LAID ON
ROMANTIC SCENES - MEDIEVAL RUINS
FIREWORKS EVERY EVENING.
Offered at great sacrifice by present tenants
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Apply JOHN CROSS & CO
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APPLY "A" COY'S ACADEMY
ENLIVENING DISPLAY EVERY EVENING
YOU SUPPLY THE S.O.S.
WE DO THE REST.
YOU WANT A BATH!
WELL! WHY NOT?
PALATIAL BATHING ESTABLISHMENT
PUREST SHELL-HOLE WATER
SPECIAL DEPARTMENT FOR COOKS
UNDER TOTALLY NEW MANAGEMENT
W. GASTON DIRECTOR.
S.M. MEALEY WRITES
Sir
Three years ago, charcoal would
make a white mark upon me. Since
patronising this establishment, however,
no noticeable mark can be detected. I
attribute this remarkable improvement solely
to my constant attendance at your baths
The Chronicles of Chash - Gool - Ed.
Recorded by Azit - Tikleth - Mi - Phansi, The Assyrian Scribe
These are the words of Chash - Gool - Ed.
Spoken by him in the place where ancient garments
are gathered together
And where the rations re delivered into the hands of
the spoilers.
What time the Kew-wem tribe give ear to his councels
And abase themselves because of his wrath
And are humbled when his anger burns within him
"This was my house - but ye have turned it into a den of
thieves.
Hear then my spoken commandments - Lest ye perish
after an unseemly manner.
I charge you straitly - Hearken not to the supplications
of the impoverished,
Which cry "Give! Give!". And seek to replace their
shortages, by many strange tales,
And by fictions of an undistinguished nature.
Verily I will not hold him guiltless, who doeth this thing
Behold thy cooks, which dwell in privy places.
And in habitations which are remote from my vision
They toil not, Neither do they wash. Yet I say unto you
That Solomon, in al his glory
Was never arrayed like one of these
The yare clad in motley apparel and in garments of
an intolerable dinginess
The rissole is not perfected, because of their sloth
Neither is the rice camouflaged in a savoury manner
Take heed therefore, lest my wrath consume them utterly
Be diligent in all good works
For today I journey to the city of Niss, which lieth
afar off.
Where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary
are at rest
But on a day, I shall return, and demand an account
of thy stewardship
Blessed is he, who swelleth the acquittance roll -
For his reward shall be a great one
Thrice blessed is he, who discovereth a new dish -
For he shall inherit the earth
Who's Which in the Sixth
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
WAW
The Miracle of the Loaves
Cą Ne Fait Rien
Published in the
Field by the
6th Aust. Inf. Bn
12-4-18
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
The Cooks
Have you seen the festive Zulu in his native haunt and home;
His trousers are a piece of string and his hat is made of bone,
His tunic is in tatters and his face is black as ink
His hair is long and curly, it is never cut I think;
But this black and greasy native is a picture neat and fair
When compared with all the "babbling brooks" who cook our daily fare.
When we go upon a route march and we're looking at our best
The transport is all polished up, the men are smartly dressed
The rifles and equipment are as clean as any pin
And to have you're boots unpolished is regarded as a sin;
There's a blot upon the landscape and it follows in our rear
Its the bally babbling brooklets with their cookers and their gear.
They're an eyesore and their marching would break an S.M's heart
But in spite of their appearance they will always do their part,
Which is making beef and biscuit taste like chicken ā la mode
And they get up every morning if its rained or if it's snowed
Or if shells are falling round them or the water's hard to get
The cooks can be relied on; they've never failed the unit yet.
(Goldsmith Gibbs)
Have you noticed the
effect that the dominating
personality of the new
Ack Ack is having on the
orderly room staff.
We are convinced that
Lt. Samuel has hung his
little brown boxer on the
peg for a good long time.
Editorial :- At great
expense we have secured
the services of C.Q.M.S.
Wright for this popular
paper, Bill Wright as
sub-editor will lift this publication
at one bound from the ranks
of high class literature into that
of the classics. He will without
doubt fill the place of R.Q.M.S
Noonan with credit to himself
and the battalion.
Ivor Jenkins wants to
know if he gets a trip to
Aussie out of it.
We would like to know
if Larry Nolan gets his
furphys from the Padre
or does the Padre get
them from Larry.
If C Company ever had
grenade caps for more than
24 hours without loosing
them?
If B Company
ever found out
who got their
pig?
Why all the
fowls race
round the
nearest hedge
if a digger
happens
to pass.
A large part of
the billeting
accomodation
for this Bn.
is taken
up by Lance Cpl.
Tiny Nicholas
Tiny is always
with us and makes
a specialty of
just being
missed by
Large
fragments
of shell.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Major Ulrich D.S.O
one of the
original officers
of the Bn.
When the major
is on the job
everything goes
with a swing.
His stock of
good stories
is unequalled
in this or
any other
unit.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Among our
weekend
visitors is
Lt. S.A. Thompson
The gallant Lieut.
often spends
a weekend
with
us.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Goo
WAR NEWS
The situation on the Western
Front is very serious; the
Padre has discarded his collar
and is wearing the same kind
as any common officer uses.
Did you ever see anything quicker
Than the move the Bn. made out
of Lousy; Who were the officers
who did not get meal there?
Did Lieut. W.E.M. Thompson or
Lieut. Cadell shoot any of the birds
at the Chateau at Querrieu?
What a lot of the Tommy regiments
seem to be recruited from
Pedestrian Clubs.
The R.Q.M.S. was sleeping at the
station at Amiens, he got up during
the night and returned to find a shell
hole where his blankets had been.
12-4-18
Cą Ne Fait Rien.
"The School For Scandal" -
PUBLISHED IN THE FIELD 6th BATTN A.I.F.
[*12 14*]
THE POETS CORNER
OUR MARVEL
THE SEARGENT COOK
By the Sub-Editor.
I
I'm the chief of the chefs, I'm the cookers' O.C
Their lives are made miserable, owing to me
At the sound of my voice, at the wave of my hand,
I strike holy terror in that lawless band.
I chill to the marrow, the hearts that are light,
And I keep them all moving, from morning till
night
The boldest must tremble, when gazing on me,
For I'm hectoring, bellowing, Cross, don't you see
II
As a Pioneer Sergeant, I made my debŭt,
And I wangled it there, as a Sergeant should do.
And by bluffing & brag, with an office to seek
The Q.M. was paralyzed dumb, by my cheek
Now, with twelve bob a day, not a hands turn to do,
I've a cosy, snug, billet, between me and you.
I wallow in tucker, wherever we be
I'm the sovereign lord of the cookers, you see
III
My good cooks all laugh, when on others I frown
And they butter me up, and they lather me down
For "deux francs", on payday, means favor of mine
And I drown my remorse, in a dixie of wine.
And if anyone jibs, he is gone to the pack
For I get in another, and give him the sack.
And the cook who renigs, on a present to me
Has a foeman forever, in Cross, don't you see
IV
So I care not for greasies, for I am their boss
And they quake in their shoes, when they know I am Cross
They all graft in earnest, when I make a start,
And they caper with joy, when they see me depart.
But they think of me still, when I'm out of their sight
I'm a terror by day, and a phantom by night.
And woe to the mortal, who argues with me
For I'm thundering, howling, John Cross don't you see
Suggestion for Wall-Paper design
OUR SOMME TRIP
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
TOPICAL PARS
The sixth Battalion is firmly convinced
that the present struggle has developed
into "A war of movement.
After the pace we have set across France -
Are we a mobile division or an auto-mobile?
The harassed R.T.O's along the line are asking
When does the First Divvy finish its training?
When the war began, what did we do?
Left Australia, in transports.
When the war is over, what shall we do?
Go into transports again. Precisely!
Where did S.M. Harvey share his bed?
Birth en Court! The name seems ominous.
Some regrettable confusion took place
at La Houssoye a few nights since.
As the Sixth entered the village, they met
themselves coming out again, and it was
some considerable time, before order could
be restored
OUR BOOK STALL
FORTHCOMING PUBLICATIONS. -
"ALONE IN A GREAT CITY" by Messrs Brent Kirby
& Carne the well-known masters of fiction
FAIRY TALES FOR INFANTS by the Postal Staff.
PIGS, AND THEIR KEEPING by B Company
THE BOOK OF PROPHETS by the Canteen Staff
THE COMPLEAT WANGLER by the Q.M. Staff
FARMHOUSES WE HAVE BEEN IN by H.Q. Staff
The foregoing volumes will be ready for
publication at an early date
OFFICIAL COMMUNIQUE
We undertook a series of raids upon the Champagne
front recently, which met with great success.
After the engagement, the battlefield was seen
to be strewn with thousands of dead marines.
Unfortunately, amny of our brave troops were
rendered 'hors de combat" by the gas which the
enemy released, The Boozeliers, in particular
suffering heavily. The night was somewhat lively,
but the next day passed quietly. A renewal of
activity along this front, may be expected shortly.
ADVERTISEMENTS
IF YOUR NERVES ARE JADED
TRY A WEEK END TOUR WITH THE DIGGERS
EXTENSIVE WALKING TRIPS
THE SOMME VALLEY BY MOONLIGHT
DAWN ON AMIENS . SHOOTING ETC.
"Several prominent Germans have found this
locality so entrancing, that they have settled there
for good: Extract from Continental Press
FOR PARTICULARS APPLY ANYONE
1st DIV
Ca Ne Fait Rien
19-4-18
Who's Which in the Sixth
Lieut. J. Stafford
no sooner
rejoins the
Bn. than he
gets knocked, so the only
way our
readers
can get to
know him
is through
the
pages
of
Ca
Ne
Fait
Rien
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
C.Q.M.S. Nicholas
D Coy. is known
to everyone in
the sixth.
he has just
been evacuated
The Bn.
will miss
his bright
smile, we
hope he
soon returns
to carry
on his
good
work
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Driver Mason and his
mascot, salvaged
by the transport
section at
strazeele.
This pet
thrives on a
diet of
champagne
and
milk.
If you
see any
of the
wagons
you'll
know
it's for Waak
their little pet.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
GOO
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Battalion Beauties
R.S.M. Mahoney says she is a
colleen; whatever that is, anyway
Peter, Old son! we admire your taste
Things we would like to know :-
if the orderly room staff get tucked into
their little cots every night?
if the Ack Ack has indented for half a dozen
feeding bottles?
if we are winning, and if so how?
what does C Coy. do with all the grenade cups?
does a battalion runner ever go to sleep?
if Capt. Gibby looked sad when he got a blighty?
will his paybook stand it?
if the transport horses carne't eat Pollard because
it Pauls on them?
if our Archer brought his bow and arrows with him?
if Jinks feeds his canaries on bully and biscuit?
if the billets at Rouge Croix are comfortable?
if a shell really got into that wine cellar?
if the boys are going to like horse meat?
if it is true that Larry doesn't start the
Phurphys, he only passes them on?
if the Doc. overlooked any loot?
if the Padre will have the dinkum oil when
he returns from Blighty?
if we are going to hop into Fritz when we
have run him to death?
if Biddy digs up more Phurphys than
Larry?
if any of the diggers failed to get a
drink of champagne?
if the Transport vanished like thin
are when Fritz put a couple over?
Where did that one go to Erbert?
OUR POETS CORNER.
The Men who Died
Gallipoli 1915
I
They pass, like ghosts, to their spectral posts,
With their tattered garments streaming
And the dawn light shines, on the haggard lines,
And the bayonets thinly gleaming.
But their fates were cast, in the years gone past
And I see them, but, in dreaming
II
Some died, from the flail, of the leaden hail
In charge, or desperate rally.
And some, from the blow, of an unseen foe,
In hidden sap, and alley.
And some from the sup, of a fevered cup,
Which was drawn, from a tainted valley.
III
They still remain, where they strove in vain
For the victory, fate denied them
And the prickly gorse, grows thick and coarse
On the shallow graves which hide them.
With the rusty trace, of the shrapnel case,
In the furrowed ground beside them.
IV
The dead are gone, but their souls live on,
In the spirit of high endeavour
Their fame is high, for the men may die,
But the tale of their deeds can never.
Yet, ah! I am sad, for the friends I had,
And the voices now stilled forever
______________________________
Sing a song of sick-men
Pockets full of cash
Four and - twenty invalids
Aching for a splash
When the pubs are opened
They all began to sing
Now isnt that a pretty thing
For soldiers of the KIng
The Padre is in Blighty
The land of milk & honey
Queenies after Pohlmer
Looking for his bunny
19-4-18
WAR NEWS
The Army of General
Sixt von Armin captured
Kemmel this morning.
German Official
Good old Sixt In Kemmel
again
French Front
In! Out! H'ongard!
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"SOLDERING IN FRANCE"
By "Snoodger Aardley".
NURSERY RHYMES
A scurrilous contributor has
forwarded the following collection
of doggerel, which we print
without comment.
Little Bill Wright, GOT LOST ONE NIGHT
They didn't now where to find him
O! Leave him alone, and he'll come home
And leave a lamp behind him.
To Caestre, To Caestre, to get a fat pig
Home again, home again, jiggety-jig
To Caestre, To Caestre, for bottles of grog
Home again, home again, joggery-jog.
Peter's in a garden
Where the bottles flow
Up came a barber
And clipped off his mow
"Ca Ne Fait Rien".
27-4-18
Who's Which in the Sixth
The complete
Officer :-
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Capt.
C.R.
Pinney
M.C.
The gallant
captain has
everything
that the
complete
officer
should
possess.
His collection
of shellhole
pumps, stomach
pumps, Electric
dinkuses, fancy
compasses and
pedometers is
unequalled in the
A.I.F.
Capt. Pinney has left
us for the O.T.B.
He shall be missed.
The T.O. will hardly
know what
to do with the
spare wagons,
since the captains
kit has been taken
away.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
R.S.M. Mahoney
has a good one
on our artist;
Last week we printed
a picture of the modest
sergeant major the artist
failed to notice that
Peter had shaved
off his mo, and
depicted the S.M. with a lip shade.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
GERMAN . .
semi-official
War Photo}
Heavy casualties have been inflicted on
the Australian troops on our front and they
can be observed bringing in the wounded nightly.
Battalion
Beauties
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Bashful
Beckey;
We are uncertain
who sent us this
picture, reference to the
office files leaves us
to choose between
Cohen and the
Ack Ack.
"Tis but a car rattling on the stony street"
Or is it limbered wagons a la tout sweet?
At any rate I hear a rumbling sound
Of transport on the move, and rearward bound.
"Why do they move?" a soft voice seems to say
"Can they not settle down and with us stay."
Ah! me, it seems a shame to shift them on
They get their tents put up; and low they're gone
To seek repose in some far distant dell,
Away from sounds of strife, and shot, and shell
Away from war, away from horrid Fritz
As far as they can get from flying bits.
It seems to me they're always on the move,
They simply hate to get into a groove
And stay in any camp thats near the line,
For more than fifteen hours at a time.
"Why do they move?" I hear the voice repeat,
The answer soon comes back :- "They've frozen feet."
Linseed Caughton Cox.
Editors note :- Sergt. Boys D.C.M. has the poets scalp
drying on the tailboard of a limber.
TOPICAL PARS
No Boche can come near
our line nowadays, but
B Company will see their
cow
Reports of an armed
desperado, who was terrifying
the countryside around, led
to one of the most dashing
exploits of the year" writes
our special correspondent from
the Horse Lines. Two officers
brimful of patriotic ardor
and __ anyway, they set out
after dark, armed to the teeth,
for a dug out, in a field,
which the Russian was believed
to occupy. Creeping stealthily
on their victim, they were
completely successful in
effecting a capture. No
doubt decorations would have
followed, but for the fact
that the alleged bandit
turned out to be a
shell-shocked, nerve-shattered
A.M.C. man, of most
respectable nature.
Slandering tongues also
allege that he was deaf and
palsied - otherwise - well,
never mind.
Talking of our Pioneer Sgt
Who ambushed him on the
road, the xx other night, as
he and his companion
were carolling to the
stars?
27-4-18
[*12-19*]
THE POET'S CORNER
Our Pioneer Sergeant
I
You have heard of Dickie Maishman, with the ruby-colored phiz
He's the man who looks up boozers, near the line.
Well, I'll tell you confidently, the sort of bloke he is;
If you'll listen to a little song of mine?
For his ways are dark and hidden, and if wood departs unbidden,
You may know that Dick is working overtime.
But the pride of the profession, is his patent screen of hessian
Which is redolent of creosole, and lime.
So here's luck to Dickie Maishman, (and its pretty hard, I think,
To make me write out tripe like this, without a drop to drink)
But if we chance to leave the line, and if the Fates are Kind
I'll have a drop with Dickie then, whenever he's inclined.
II
I shall not forget, at Bethencourt, the night we got him shicked,
And he stated then, that he could hold no more.
And the arguments he proved it by, were hard to contradict,
For he laid them all before us - on the floor.
But, despite what happened then, we shall have it o'er again,
Though another sort of drink, we'll have to find him
If we mean to have an outing, its not much use, us shouting,
When he leaves the greater part of it behind him.
So, here's luck to Dickie Maishman, (with his head against the wall,
We will have another with him, though he does disgrace us all.)
So seize him by the elbows, for his footsteps seem to roam
And we'll see him past the ditches, on the long trail home.
III
Now, when we feel like arguing, we've just to give the word
And Dick is simply itching, to be there,
And to say he only sees one side, is totally absurd.
For he takes them both, to show us he is fair.
Though his failings are as stated, in the facts which I've related,
At the finish, he is everybody's boss.
We will follow Dickie blindly, if the Hun should prove unkindly,
And he'll mark our map location - with a cross.
So. here's luck to Dickie Maishman (which is just a bit of kid,
For my orders were to strafe him hard, and, thank the Lord, I did)
And may his visage ripen, like the apple on the tree
For one good turn, at least, he's done, he's filled a page for me.
"Ca Ne Fait Rien"
3-5-18
Published in the field
Every Friday
(sometimes)
Battalion Beauties
Of the good feeling that
exists between the "Aussies"
and their French
Allies some fresh
evidence meets us
at every turn.
As we pass
a wayside farmhouse
we see Madame
and the children
and the old grandparents
sitting outside
in the cool of
the evening; with them
are two or three
Australian Soldiers
A little further
on we meet
Marie on her
way back from
the village and
escorted by a tall
and debonaire Anzac.
It's a funny
thing that the
Anzacs you read
about are always
tall and debonaire,
I've never read
an Anzac story
yet about an
Aussie built
like Sergeant
Philpot or Sergt Dutton.
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
It simply isn't done, old thing! if you'r going to write
a story you must pick the tall bloke for the hero.
Now, let's see where had I got to, oh! yes, The tall bloke and
Marie on the way back from the village. Our gallant Anzac
has Marie's bundles on his shoulder, she looks up into his
face in her sweet, maidenly way; she has open admiration for
this tall and deb - oh! I said that before; what I really
want to say is, Who's the pretty, little girl we saw
with Sergt. Mut. Barker on May 1st? on the road from La Korale.
Who's Which in the 6th
The Canteen Cove
At times
one is apt
to overlook
the work
of the man
behind
the line.
The outstanding
actions of
runners,
esses-beers
and the lads
back of
the rifle,
make us
forget
about men
like :-
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Bidwell, the Canteen Cove, who
has never let us down. While in the
line at Strazeele, the canteen profits
supplied "backseech" cigarettes twice,
these cot over 900 francs; at other
times the canteen supplies us with free
oatmeal, potatoes, pepper, curry etc.
These things go to the cooks and we
therefore often fail to notice them, but
the canteen boys work on without thanks
or extra limelight just the same. ←*
* PRINTERS NOTE
Owing to the faulty nature of the typewriter
employed by the Editor, it is not certain whether
the concluding phrase of the article, re the Canteen
Cove should read "without thanks or extra limelight"
or "without francs of extra limejuice". We have
decided that the latter is very improbable
OFFICIAL COMMUNIQUE
In the region of Chemise les Dames, Mut Barker
suffered a severe repulse. The recent activity
on the Champagne front, hads led to extensive
withdrawals on the part of our troops, from
the banks of the Strand. Great advances from the
Mont de Piete. sector.
AVIATION REPORT
OUR PIONEERS BROUGHT DOWN THREE
FRENCH PLANES (from the Railway Workshop
in Hazebrouck).
3-5-18
[*12-20*]
OUR BOOKSTALL
HORACE. Translated by A Coy's
Q.M.S C.M.S.
FRENCH CONVERSATION with
appropriate gestures
By C.S.M. Scoggins
"SOLES OF MEN" By Tom Wilson
THE EPISTLES OF PETER
To the Caestrians
"PRISON BARS" By Dave Oliver
DRAMATIC TRIUMPH
Capt Adams in Hamlet
Hear the famous soliloquy
"To "B" or not to "B", that is the
question"
Who was the Sergt Major, who
burst open a ponderous
iron safe with a crowbar.
only to find it full of
bully-beef?
Who said Desvres?
So this is the place we're
being withdrawn to.
Kreule, isn't it?
Where, oh, where, is that beer?
What is it the poet says
"That hops deferred, which maketh
sick the heart"
Page I
Sometimes published
Every Friday
Cą Ne Fait Rien
This paper has such a large
circulation that millions of copies
remain undistributed each week
[*12-21*]
Editorial :-
A LIBEL ON AUSSIES
Are we getting TAME?
No doubt many of our readers
will have read a yarn in one
of our contemptible contemporaries
in which a Scottie boasts of
cutting out an Aussie from
his froggy tart. We can
imagine the reader's feeling
of anger and disgust. Of
course it may have been one of
the 3rd Divvy but we doubt
if even they could sink so low.
However it behoves all of
us to buck up. Never let a
Tommy throw it up at us
that we are losing our punch.
A SAD FAREWELL
Heartrending Scenes in Sgts. Mess.
One of the most touching
scenes ever witnessed in the
Sgts Mess in this camp occurred
last night. Our esteemed
contributor S.M. Brent, who is
leaving shortly for Blighty
made a speech. He said that
it grieved him to
have to leave the
Battn at such a
time, but when
"duty calls etc." He
said further, that
he was only going
for six months, and
with a bit of luck,
the war would last
a few years longer, and would
enable him to add many ribbons
to his tunic. (Loud cheers)
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
S.M. Brent looking sad
WAR NEWS
Activity on Eastern Front
Hun attempts Intimidation
In a part of the bRitish
front well known to this
Battn. there has lately been
much activity. It appears
that a dud or something
landed near an estaminet
and the proprietor was in
such a hurry to get to the
cellar, that several bottles
of beer were left in an
insecure position.
Fritz has adopted a new
method of trying to intimidate
our brave fighting men.
Each hun is now supplied
with a pair of bellows and
at intervals they send a
strong current of air along
the ground with the
idea of putting the wind up.
189 PLANES DOWN
During the past week
189 of w our planes have
come down safey.
BATTALION BEAUTIES
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Sgt. Israel's
inamorata
Hand drawn illustration - see original document
Allan
Jenkins
nice
girlie in
Paree
LIBELS or OTHERWISE
We have obtained the Opinion
of a competent Bush Lawyer
to the effect that it is useless
to sue the Editor for Libel
as he has no money.
Did "Lizzie", who belongs
to the Band, burn a hole
in a nightdress?
Who calls Fred Chambers
the Regimental Pet?
Did Tiny Cornell really
pay five guineas for that
dress?
Is it true that owing to
a shortage of funds the
"Tarry Oakum Kennel Club"
is being disbanded?
Did a letter to Suzette
go astray?
Was Mr Abson as good
as two men to the Sgts
in their match against
the Officers?
Could Sgt Ramage see
Berlin with those glasses
the other night?
Will S.M. Brent please
cut out the "blue" stuff
next time he plays footy?
Can our Banana Land
Q.M.S. explain why the
Commonwealth Police are
being sent to his State?
Does Sgt Rackham catch
salutes in that Blighty tunic?
What does Sgt McNamara
use for a handkerchief?
What did QM.S. Kirby
pick up at the Cafe de la Paix?
SERIAL STORY
Chapter 15 or 16
New readers may begin here
as the preceding chapters
only describe various
exciting events in the career
of Elsie the kind and loving
girl who started the War
It was the witching hour
of midnight and no Military
Police were about. Private
P.H. Helmet stole up the avenue
to the castle. He whistled softly
an imitation of the weird call
of wild parsley. A window
was raised in the 16th story
and Elsie descended on a
rope ladder made from her
two issue blankets. Kissing him
quickly with one hand and
giving him twenty new centimes
which she had stolen from
the till, with the other, they
hurried off into the dark
To Be Continued.
AUSTRALIAN NEWS
Great indignation is
being expressed by single
soldiers who have returned
to Australia at the proposed
alteration to the MArriage
Service. A Bill is now
before parliament and is
being well supported by
members who got in on the
women's vote; to make this
alteration. Instead of
a wife having to "love
honour & obey" her husband
she is to be only "attached
for rations & discipline"
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