Ca Ne Fait Rien - Part 2
3-1
Illustration - see original document
Russia:- "They told me this was the road
to Liberty but I begin to
wonder" -
No 3.
Page ll
Ce Ne Fait Rien
Libel Column.
Paris leave was
cancelled immediately after
a party went there from
this Battalion. Friday Funny
isn’t it?
Who is the "Harry" the
nice girl from Boulogne talks
about?
Is Horace K. quite well now?
Is there a nurse at Etaples
who makes hearts flutter?
Are batmen in favour of
officers entering for boat races?
Who are the two pretty
Sgts who now wish they were
not so attractive?
Who is the hardened warrior
who uses an air cushion and
chat powder?
Why did someone leave
the estaminet so hurriedly?
Is Tiny Morton in love?
Unrecorded Heroes
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
The man who often
volunteered to be mess orderly.
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
The man
who stood
to attention
and said
"Yes Sir"
to an
M.P.
Australian News ETC.
At Broken Hill a regulation has been
made which prohibits surf bathing
in single garment costumes
On Wednesday last a man in
Khaki walked along the "Block". The
large crowd, usually there at lunch
time, was very interested in the
unusual sight.
The death is announced in
Australia of Mr Smith
The Spanish Consul at Melbourne
states that the "Order of the Broken Chain"
has been conferred on Lieut Phillips
for his ability at singing "Spanish Songs"
The result of the election is
not yet to hand but the figures
already published are causing
the blokes who stand on the
corner, much uneasiness
Watch for our XMAS NUMBER
[*3-2*]
No 3
1917
Page I
France
Ce Ne Fait Rien
Editorial
Observant readers
might notice that the
name of the paper has
been slightly altered.
Owing to the exigencies
of the service these printers
errors sometimes creep in.
Our printer is not too
good at French yet. He
can go into an estaminet
and by saying "Steak
and eggs, sil vous plait
Compre?" can make
himself understood
but he doesn't know
enough to tell the
madamoselle that she
is a peach and her
eyes shine like the
stars. Anyhow in this
respect, there are others.
War News
Our Italian Correspondent
denies the statement that
a Fritz submarine has sunk
three gondolas in Venice.
Lenin the pro-fritz Russian
who is bossing Petrograd, has
ordered the troops to down tools.
This will not make any difference
as they have only been fighting
for an increase of pay lately.
We are authorised to state
that Sydney was not bombarded.
What was thought to be a
submarine was only a surfer
diving for sharks eggs.
Our Paris correspondents have
returned from their trip. They
state that things are very quiet.
Though sugar is scarce there
they say there are any amount
of sweet things to be seen in the street.
Serial Story
Chapter III
Holding the bully beef
tin well out in front of him as
head cover, Jim advanced rapidly
on his stomach towards the
enemy's machine gun, S.O.S., flares
barrages, drumfire, and peanut
shells fell around him but his
little bully beef tin kept him
safe. Suddenly he took a tumble
and thought that he may as
well get a nice blighty so
To Be Continued.
OUR Battalion Girls
2 Hand drawn Illustrations - see original document
Mat O'Day's
flapper
Ivo
Jenkin's
gay
Parisienne
[*3-3*]
Cą Ne Fait Rien
6th Bn AIF Paper
No 4
Edited by { Capt C. Gould
{ RQMS. Noonan F
France 1917
No 4
This paper has the largest
circulation in the Battalion
Ce Ne Fait Rien
Special Notice
Our Xmas Number next
week will be a beaut
The High Art pictures
will have all the colours
of the rainbow and the
personal items will be
as personal as possible.
The War News will be
specially manufactured
and the ghost in the
serial story will make
you want to play
handies with someone
who hasn't got the wind up.
Place your order with
your newsagent NOW.
Australian News
A man was arrested in
Bridge Rd. Richmond
last saturday for having
nine wives. The A.P.M
however dismissed the
case as he considered
the man had already
been sufficiently punished.
At the Stadium Billy Hughes
beat "the slacker" after a
ding dong go
WAR NEWS
The Jap troops which landed
at Vladivostock last week
are marching on Moscow
All stores of rice in the
city have been removed
It is now certain that
Russia has as much chance
of getting Peace on her terms
as a celluloid cat has of
chasing an asbestos rat
through hell.
UNRECORDED HEROES of
THE WAR
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
The man who told a Q.M.
that he had never been issued
with puttees.
Libels or Otherwise
Who is the man who is
so anxious to go and see
someone in Bailleul?
Which scout is known as
the cheese king?
Has Larry Nolan already got
a bag of letters addressed to
Desvres?
How did QM Nicholson get
that nice soft bed?
Who suggested putting straw
along the front line so that
the noise of Fritz's bursting
shells would not disturb the
sleepers
STOP PRESS NEWS
The Kaiser has promised
the Officers & NCO's of the
German Guards that they
will have their Xmas
dinner in Paris.
The "Cologne Gazette"
commenting on this, asks,
"What about the poor
blooming private?"
SERIAL STORY
chapter IV
"Strike me pink" said the
Countess as she sat before the
fire peeling the spuds. "Is this
another visitor coming to tea?"
The maid ^brought a card in on
a silver salver. (In case you
don't know what a salver is,
it is like a dixie lid, only
different). An Australian
soldier entered and, saluting,
said. "Well how goes it Missus?"
Her ladyship smiled and
to be continued
OUR Battalion Girls
2 Hand drawn Illustrations - see original document
The girl the
sanitary men
fight over
The Police Cpl's
Cliner
[*4-1*]
Cą Ne Fait Rien
6th Bn A.I.F Paper
No 5
Edited by { Capt C. Gould
{ RQMS. Noonan F
XMAS NUMBER 1917
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
Sliding on the ice is a most
interesting pastime.
[* 5-1*]
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
He dreams that
he is going home after
the war
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
Santa Claus was not
his usual benevolent
self this year.
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
The Quartermaster
gave him a double
issue of rum because
it was Xmas
But of course
that was only
a dream.
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
A company cook washed
himself clean on Christmas
day, but he
knew that
was only
a dream
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
Pte. Smith hung up his stocking in
the good old fashioned way" and as a result
had some wonderful dreams on Christmas Eve
GOO
21-12-17
NO 5
Page I
XMAS NUMBER
FRANCE 1917
Ca Ne Fait Rien
THE CHRISTMAS GHOST
(Complete in this issue)
The fire was burning
brightly in "Honeysuckle
Cottage" Nellie turned to her
husband and said "Dear
Joe, please tell me about
some of the murders you
have done." Quite willing
to oblige, Joe started to
tell of the deeds that had
made his name famous
in Reilly St. Suddenly the
clock struck 12., (it was five
minutes fast but that
doesn't matter). Anyhow
there was a noise like
the transport polishing
harness, and in walked
a ghost. "Struth" said Joe.
"Have you brought your
rations?" asked Nellie.
This so startled the
ghost that he went off
at the "toot" and
Nellie & Joe lived happy
ever after
UNRECORDED HEROES
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
The man who tried to change
a fifty franc note on the 18th of this month.
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
The NCO
who told
a private
to call him
corporal,
not Bill.
LIBELS or OTHERWISE
Has Bob Jenkins ever lost
an argument?
Did the rats eat Sandy's
bread?
Who smokes everybody
out with his brazier?
Have any raincoats
been salvaged to make
up for some lost in a
roll of blankets?
Have the scouts lost any
more apples lately?
Is any modern Lochnivar
riding to La Bacque this Xmas?
Which cook looked white
for the first time after the
recent snow?
Has Sgt Hodges learnt to
swim out of his dugout?
Who pushed Jack Washbourne
out of his ration store?
Who lost his towel and
had to use a spare shirt?
Is it true there is a
man from Bendigo in
this Battalion?
Advertisements
Wanted a partner
in a flourishing rissoule
and cheese cake business
For sale nice Blighty
wound, likely to turn
septic any minute
Wanted to Exchange
a set of hot postcards
for a brazier
Personal
Cobber wanted. One with
a few francs not objected to
LOST & FOUND
Lost, a payday; finder
please return to this Battn.
Found, a half empty
tin of bully and a piece
of biscuit. Owner may
have same by paying
expenses
If the man seen taking
half an inch of candle
from a dugout does not
return same tout de suite
Proceedings will be taken
[*5 - 2*]
FRANCE
NO 5
Page 2
XMAS NUMBER
1917
Cą Ne Fait Rien
SPECIAL NOTICE
Although it has not
yet been published
in Battalion Orders
we are in a position
to state that Christmas
Day will fall on the
25th of December
POETRY
It was Xmas day in the dugout
And snow was falling fast
So a man pinched 8 more
blankets
To save himself from the blast.
He thought of his home in
Australia
And it filled his heart
with pain
To think that his next
days rations
Were pork & beans again.
The Editor cried when
he first read the above
touching lines.
WAR NEWS
The German fleet
which is going to attack
Naples on Christmas Eve
was effectually driven off
by our Ally's warship
snipers. Several life buoys
were captured
WAR CARTOON
Specially drawn for the
"Cą ne fait rien" by
Capt Barnsmother
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
How old Bill led the
Ossies to Victory
Our Battalion Beauties.
4 Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
Jack Getemagain's lassie Pte Alexanders Girl
Tray Bon's tabbie Bob Gay's Boshler
SERIAL STORY
Chapter V
"Darling" he whispered
as he placed his arms
round her ample waist
and drew her gently
under the mistletoe,
"Could you lend me
five francs till pay day?"
"Unhand me, sir" she
screamed. The
villain recoiled (Dunno
what recoiled means
but all villains do it)
To Be Continued
ANSWERS to Correspondents
"Curious" writes to ask
Which should it be
"The unexpended portion
of the days rations or
the unexpected portion etc
Well it's this way, see?
If a man draws his
rations on a tuesday
and then doesn't draw
any more till friday
and then if he gets a
parcel from home on
the sunday, well the
rations he draws on
the monday were not
expended on sunday, see?
That's plain enough.
But if he was to draw
rations on the wednesday
and eat them, well he
couldn't expect any
more could he. Well
in that case I dont
see how anyone can
have any doubts about
the matter.
[*5-3*]
No 5
Page 1
XMAS NUMBER
FRANCE 1917
Ca Ne Fait Rien
THE CHRISTMAS GHOST
(Complete in this issue)
The fire was burning
brightly in "Honeysuckle
Cottage" Nellie turned to
her husband and said
"Dear Joe, please tell me
about some of the murders
you have done." Quite
willing to oblige, Joe
started to tell of the deeds
that had made his
name famous in Reilly St.
Suddenly the clock struck 12.
(It was five minutes fast but
that doesn't matter). Anyhow
there was a noise like
the transport polishing harness
and in walked a ghost.
"Struth" said Joe. "Have you
brought your rations?" asked
Nellie. This so startled the
ghost that he went off
at the toot and Nellie
& Joe lived happy
ever after
(The end)
UNRECORDED HEROES
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
The man who tried to change a
50 franc note on the 18th of this month.
Hand drawn Illustration - see original document
The NCO
who told
a private
to call him
corporal,
not Bill.
LIBELS or OTHERWISE
Has Bob Jenkins ever lost
an argument?
Did the rats eat Sandy's
bread?
Who smokes everybody
out with his brazier?
Have any greatcoats
been salvaged to make
up for some lost in a
roll of blankets?
Have the scouts lost
any more apples lately
Is any modern Lochnivar
riding to La Bacque this Xmas?
Which cook looked white
for the first time after the
recent snow?
Has Sgt Hodges learnt to
swim out of his dugout?
Who pushed Jack Washbourne
out of his ration store?
Who lost his towel and
had to use a spare shirt?
Is it true there is a
man from Bendigo in
this Battalion?
Advertisements
Wanted a partner in a
flourishing rissoule and
cheese cake business
For sale nice Blighty
wound, likely to turn
septic any minute
Wanted to Exchange
a set of hot postcards for
a brazier
Personal
Cobber wanted. One with a
few francs not objected to.
Lost & Found
Lost, a payday. Finder
please return to this Battn.
Found a half empty tin
of Bully and a piece of biscuit.
Owner may have same
by paying expenses
If the man seen taking
half an inch of candle
from a dugout does not
return same tout de suite
proceedings will be taken
[*5 - 4*]
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